Tuesday, September 16, 2014

In Which I Review Under the Dome (2x12)

Here's what I hate about this show: the last 10 minutes always leave me curious enough to tune in next week. The first 50 minutes of this weeks episode "Turn" was more of the same old, same old. Rebecca and Julia debate science vs faith; Norrie and Joey act like errant teenagers and no one ever calls them on it; Melanie mourns the loss of the precious; and Big Jim continues to do what he thinks is best for himself. And then the last ten minutes happened and they were interesting enough that now I need to tune in next week. It's a problem. Of course, this was also the penultimate episode of the second season which means next week is the finale. No word on the third season so far, but despite lower ratings, it will most likely be renewed. As usual, there was some sort of crisis that needed solving and while the solution was temporary, the bigger debate is whether it was faith that saved the day, or science (in the form of lima beans!) Actually the bigger debate is who I want dead more: Melanie or Rebecca. 

This weeks episode really centers around Melanie and her connection to the precious. Like the past few weeks, this review is going to be rather short and to the point, much like my own attention span and interest in Under the Dome at present. Melanie continues to deteriorate the longer she away from the precious. The precious is life, it is heaven and salvation and wonder and joy and---dear god. It's an egg, okay. It's a freaking egg that is somehow the power source of the Dome and if you just destroy it, I'm sure the Dome would fall and people could leave. Yes, I'm sure Melanie would die, but I'm really okay with that. Remember, she's out Christ figure. I expect her to die in sacrifice to free all the rest of the town. Which, actually, kind of happens this episode. But I may be jumping ahead of myself. Melanie's body is shutting down without the precious egg; her hair is falling out and her red blood cells are disintegrating, according to Science Teacher Pine. But don't worry! Rebecca and Julia both have ideas on how to save Melanie. Oh shock, one is science and one is faith based. Rebecca wants to use lima beans. Yes, I really just wrote lime beans. Because Rebecca and Sam don't know the blood type of Melanie, it's a risk to give her a transfusion. Actually, you morons, it's not. It's called O-negative and like 80% of the world's population can safely be transfused with it without risk. It's called the universal blood type for a reason. But, then if they did this, the show wouldn't be able to, once again, shove in your face that Rebeca is SCIENCE. Got that? She's a SCIENTIST. Rebecca is also informed that Melanie was once dead and now alive again which really rocks her world to the core. Poor Science Teacher Pine. Except, you annoy the living heck out of me, so I don't care about your crisis of faith (see what I did there?) Julia, on the other hand, believes in the Dome and that it has the power to save Melanie. Julia goes out to the border of the Dome to talk to it. See, Julia was chosen by the Dome. She's the Monarch. And as the Monarch, she can ask favors of the giant goldfish bowl. Julia asks that the Dome spare Melanie's life and take hers instead. Oh Julia, are you going to become our Christ figure? This show does not need two Christ figures! Now, Melanie does get a wee bit better but it's hard to tell why; is it because of the transfusion thanks to lima beans, or is it because promises were made?

 Meanwhile, back in the land of the Rennie's, Big Jim and Pauline continue to snark at each other because Pauline can no longer see her visions. Junior is desperate to heal Melanie (he's fall in love with the girl. This will end well. Junior's girlfriends are always totally happy to have his affections). Pauline promises to try and find a way to save Melanie, and thanks to Big Jim, she does. Lyle is also tagging along throughout this whole thing because Lyle is a freaking creep. He thinks he and Pauline are supposed to go to heaven together and he'll follow Pauline anywhere until he gets his wish. Yeah, we call this stalking. Pauline doesn't think she can paint any more visions, but with Jim guiding her, she's able to do some painting. It doesn't tell Jim how to get everyone out of Chester's Mill, but it does tell them how to "save" Melanie. Time for a trip into the woods!

And this is where it gets weirder. Pauline's painting suggests that in order to save Melanie they need all 8 hands, four from the past and four from now. Problem: Angie is dead. That's only seven hands. Don't worry, Science Teacher Pine has a solution: Melanie is two people! She existed in the past and now she exists in the present. Therefore she is two people. Erm, okay. Whatever you say. I guess I'll trust you since you are the science expert and your only purpose this entire season was to provide science exposition. So, all the hands--Pauline, Sam, Lyle, Junior, Joey, Norrie, and Melanie squared--touch each other (insert inappropriate joke here) and Melanie begins to glow just like the precious. Melanie feels better and gets to her feet....only for a giant ground tornado to appear out of nowhere and suck Melanie down into a giant black hole. What? What just happened? I have no idea. She just vanished into this giant hole in the ground while everyone freaked out. Is Melanie dead? If we take it metaphorically, she descended into hell (much like doctrines of Christ). Pauline in particular feels responsible since it was her painting that brought this about. Jim tries to comfort her and they kiss...only to have Lyle come up behind Pauline and stab her. Erm. Gross? He claims that they were supposed to go to Heaven together and he needs to make that happen. Big Jim, being Big Jim, handles this perfectly fine...by beating Lyle to a pulp and then stabbing him while Lyle says thank you over and over. O...kay.

RIP Pauline. RIP Lyle.

Miscellaneous Notes on Turn

--Why was this episode called Turn?

--The Dome continues to contract but it's based on the emotions of the Dome, or Melanie, or the egg. Or all three.

--"Maybe some questions have no answers." Does this mean I'll never know why the Dome fell?

--I skipped over everything to do with Papa-Q, but who orders the Men in Black around if not him? Sounds like there is still another layer to the conspiracy of the Dome.

--Joey and Norrie suck at spying. They kinda need to stop trying.

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