Friday, September 4, 2015
So. One more to to go. Then we move on.
--Why on earth was this episode call 'Incandescence?'
--The new Queen is Eva in a really fake looking blonde wig, wearing tight pants, boots, and a belly shirt. Ladies and gentlemen, Under the Dome. (no really, look at that picture and try not to laugh your butt off).
--'Time is the one thing we don't have." Truer words have never been spoken, Big Jim.
--How did Benton and Uhura bring a drone inside the Dome? Did I miss that?
--Norrie runs inside the paper mill, out of breath, in a panic and explains that the Dome is calcifying and that the worst thing they could do is use up the oxygen inside faster by running around and panicking. Everyone proceeds to spend the rest of the episode running around panicking.
--"Everyone under this Dome is innocent." Um. NO. Please go watch season 1 and 2 (or read my above three paragraphs) for why this statement is flat out false.
--RIP Benton. RIP DNA Expert Lady. RIP Queen Bee. RIP LOTS AND LOTS OF OLD PEOPLE. Man, how many geezers did Sam and Little Crazypants kill at the Lake?
Friday, August 28, 2015
--Julia found a single strand of Queen Bee's hair in a barn full of hay. Because she's the plucky young reporter, guys!
--I honestly don't care about Uhura learning her father is a pixel bug and that her pseduo-father Benton has been lying to her. Why should I care about these people at all?
--If the super drug with Queen Bee's DNA causes brain damage in Junior, I'd think that was a plus not a con.
--Barbie is going to save the Eva he "used to know." What? You never knew Eva. The Eva you "knew" was in a fake dream world fueled by purple cocoon goop! What an absurd line.
--"I'm helping to deliver your baby with another woman."
--RIP Random Military Man. RIP Eva.
Friday, August 21, 2015
"You back-stabbing ass!" Joe, Sam killed your sister! Less than a week ago! Why would you ever trust him to begin with? Honestly, this is your own fault.
--Whistling causes the amethyst to glow. Still doesn't explain why the Borg Collective of Chester's Mill has been whistling all this time.
--Hunter and Uhrua got their flirt on.
--There are still 2,000 under the Dome? Are we sure about that? Because I don't think that's right at all.
--The opening monologue now states that the Dome fell 4 weeks ago. Man, hell of a month, eh?
--Apparently TLK didn't work all the way because Barbie and his infection are in a dormant phase. So TLK is not a catch all, cure all? OMG, quick! Someone tell OUAT before I have to suffer through Season 5!
--RIP White Clothed Virgins; RIP Midwife Lady.
Friday, August 14, 2015
--"George and Ringo just torched the Aktion house." Big Jim is now being used only for snappy one-liners. I think I'm okay with that.
--Who needs a pregnancy test when you have a glowing rock!
--"Kinship phone home." Norrie, don't ever change.
--"I thought you were my mate." Junior continues to be Little Crazypants and think that woman who sleep with him want to be his life partner. Look out, Queen Bee! He could lock you in a bomb shelter like he did with Angie.
--True. Love's. Kiss. (I vomit profusely)
--"Who hooks up with the guy who killed her husband?" OMG THANK YOU BARBIE.
Friday, August 7, 2015
--There is something ironic about this weeks title given my own breaking point with this show.
--Eva is going to end up pregnant, isn't she?
--"We have to go!"
"Where?! We are under a dome!" This is why Norrie is still the only good character.
--So no Apocalypse at all? Not even a little bit?
--The Dome is going to calcify. Queen Bee used up all the energy in the crystals and Oxytocin to heal herself. Gibberish. Absolute gibberish.
--"We need to kill them all." Finally, Queen Bee and I agree on something.
--"A cripple, two horny teenagers and a plucky newspaper girl?" OMG. Big Jim, have you been reading my blog?
Friday, July 31, 2015
1x03 review of Under the Dome, I said the exact same thing when I analyzed Big Jim and Junior's relationship and my educational background is not psychology. Julia is right; it's a total cliche. Julia and Big Jim both are cliche. She's the plucky, young, and intrepid reporter who got her head turned by a dark and mysterious guy and then got bent out of shape when her main squeeze turned out to be...dark and mysterious. Jim's the football star who made nothing of himself and resented everyone because of it. Together they are woefully inept and blandly drawn. Maybe by the writers openly acknowledging Big Jim and Julia's cliche nature, they are setting us up to stop expecting the un-cliche. Go with the cliche flow, folks! Which is why, of course, Julia and Big Jim team up with Jorrie (and a miraculously cured Hunter) to take down the Borg Collective of Chester's Mill, one drone at a time. Good luck with that--what am I saying? Of course they'll win. It's cliche.
--I more or less passed over Barbie and Eva because they bore me to tears but they represent another type of response in the face of destruction: not caring and moving on (omg, drink). Eva has gotten her claws (and teeth) into Barbie and now he's determined to forget all about humanity and his quest to save all the things. Instead, he turns toward the new world order of the Borg Collective of Chester's Mill and openly embraces his role, whatever that is.
--Also, Eva, put your clothes back on. Now is not the time for BBQ.
--Little Crazypants gave us some vague exposition about the destruction of a former home world and all the death of "last time." I guess, without saying it, this confirms that these little critters are aliens and they fled because they had no place else to go. It sounds like meteors also destroyed their home world but that leads to the question of how did the falling pink stars follow them to Chester's Mill? Also begs the question of why the bug aliens didn't put up a Dome over their home world to protect themselves from a destructive meteor shower?
--Sad Linda shout out!
--Is Junior planning on feeding Sam to Queen Bee?
--"It's no longer about right or wrong. It's about survival." Wait. Isn't that what Under the Dome has always been about?
Friday, July 24, 2015
--Queen Bee is "not of this earth, but something very foreign." Please just use the word "alien." Come on; we all know they are aliens.
--Anthropologists were hired to find fragments of a meteor that fell to earth. I really don't think Under the Dome has any idea what anthropologists do.
--The drawing Junior found: what are they plans of? A way to reach the aliens still up in space who need to come to Chester's Mill? A way to bring down the Dome? The next orgy?
--"We mean no harm, but we will defend ourselves." What does 'mean no harm' even mean to you then, Queen Bee? Cause lots-o-people have died.
--Why has Joey been totally unaffected and why did Norrie snap out of it? Please don't say true love.
--Queen Bee orders Eva to have sex with Barbie. How romantic.
--RIP Barlie? No more BBQ-ing I guess.
--"I've seen the movie, Mrs. Spock." I'm going to pretend Under the Dome did not just riff on "Wrath of Khan."