Tuesday, September 30, 2014
--Jenny is in prison and the new Captain of the Police, named Reyes, is all sorts of evil and bitchy. I think Reyes works for the Horseman.
--Ichabod in a bank. Bless his rant.
--"Hello...mother." RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. (John Noble is brilliant)
--"I am not the witch in the family!"
Monday, September 29, 2014
Because my opening was so negative toward the show, let me start the proper review off with something more positive: the casting. If there is one thing that OUAT gets right about 95% of the time, it's casting. And by right I mean they pick people who are literally carbon copies of the Disney version. Wait. Did my positive just go negative? Whoops. Actually, I admit this is a fuzzy area to criticize. It's hard for a show that sells itself as your favorite fairy tales (read: Disney movies) come to life and then not have those fairy tales look exactly like their Disney counterparts. Ariel without red hair would have been a disaster; Tink not being blonde and not in green wouldn't jive for the audience. The one time they did break the mold with Rapunzel, it came off as forced and a way to silence critics about ONCE's overwhelming race issue. So when it came time to cast Elsa and Anna, they went for the actresses who look exactly like the animated version. Even down to the costuming, they are straight off the DVD cover sitting on your shelf. It is what it is. Georgiana Haig, whom I know from Fringe, is a good actress and a good choice. Newbie Elizabeth Lail is sweet and endearing though I found the way they wrote Anna to be taxing. I won't give the show too much grief over this. I know...shocking. So, what is happening in Arendelle? Well, it's important to note that this isn't strictly Frozen. I mean, it is in the sense that Elsa, Anna, ect are coming to ONCE but we aren't going to see the movie Frozen play out before our eyes. Rather, the events of the flashback are actually after the events of the movie. So post-Frozen, pre-Regina's curse. Because we should make this as wibbly wobbly timey wimey as possible, apparently.
And now we're back in Storybrooke. And this portion of the show is called: check in the with the ships people care about! I'm not kidding. Most of this was about the various couples circling each other and and going on little side adventures. Charming and Snow appeared for maybe five minutes in total because while they are the original couple on the show, the fandom doesn't really care about them. They aren't flashy enough. You must have flash. Or leather. Or a cross bow. Or be morally reprehensible. Snow and Charming are both heroes. BORING. Neal and Emma are both heroes. BORING. But ooooh, morally corrupt bad guy/girl and a hero? SCORE. I hate this show. Let's just get the shipping nonsense out of the way. Elsa is in town and causes havoc through a giant snowman that had terrible CGI. Though, Marshmallow's CGI wasn't as bad as the fake snow that kept falling around Elsa. That was some truly terrible CGI.
--Ok, so I avoided talking about the Rumple scene in which he talks to Neal's grave. I did this for a reason, namely...I don't know how I feel about it. On the one hand, it was nice to see Rumple finally acknowledge that he lost his son. On the other hand, it felt very random and out of place. Like the writers knew how upset we were by it and decided to respond with this scene. And I can't help but be angry at some of what Rumple said. He killed Zelena to avenge Neal but that is obviously NOT what Neal would have wanted. It also felt very selfish: the entire speech was about Rumple and his feelings about what he must do now to press onward, not about Neal himself. I don't know. It doesn't sit well with me at the end of the day.
--"There is no frosting."
--"She was going to die anyway, what did it matter?" Dear God. This is why you don't get a happy ending, Regina.
--Sven was really cute. I like him. Let's keep him.
--I almost threw my TV out the window because of Adam and Eddy's line that came from Charming: "maybe we should have named him [the baby] Baelfire." Shut up, writers. Just take the flack from the audience that 90% of us are livid that Snowing named their baby Neal.
--Robin only staying with Marian because he made a vow is ludicrous. This is Robin Hood and Maid Marian. They are epic true love. Marian is not just the ball and chain.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
This weeks episode, "The Caretaker," has a bit of a Tempest-like feel to it. A normal mortal (Danny) stumbles into a magical world of magicians and monsters and in the process finds someone to love. Now, unlike Ferdinand and Miranda, Clara and Danny have known each other for longer than a few days and are obviously quite in love. Much to the Doctor's dismay. I talked about this last week in my review of "Time Heist." The Doctor seems to have a bit of back and forth when it comes to his relationship with Clara Oswald. He insults her like a brother or best friend (his insults feel exactly how my best friend and I talk to each other), but sometimes he also acts like a jealous lover who doesn't want to share Clara. In the season premiere, the Doctor said that he wasn't Clara's boyfriend so why is he acting like someone who's favorite toy is about to be taken away? And then Danny inadvertently stumbled into the answer: because the Doctor is Clara's space dad. The Doctor is Prospero and he can wave his magic stick and curse you or bless you and his obsession with Clara stems from how un-romanticaly those two are wrapped up in each other as family, alone on their island, avoiding the real. This episode was very much about relationships and how these three people--Danny, Clara, and the Doctor--will all relate to each other. Can Clara have it all?
--Smattering of funnies:
"Why do you have two jackets? Is one of them faulty?
"Why are you being nice?" "Cause it works on you."
"I hate you!" "That's fine. That's a perfectly normal reaction."
"Why do I keep you around?" "Cause the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own."
--I have a lot of issues that they spent an entire episode at Coal Hill and there was not one reference to Ian or Barbara or Susan.
--Is Clara allowed to wear short shorts with tights as a teacher?
--"You want to know what's inside the box? I'll tell you what's inside the box! It's a time machine. It also travels in space. And it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work of preventing the end of the world, but keeps being interrupted by BORING little humans." This is all of Doctor Who summed up in a few sentences.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
--Naked Benjamin Franklin is naked
--Seriously, the Horseman of War likes potted plants.
--Ichabod Crane made a bomb out of dirt. Beat that, MacGyver.
--"....and none of that recorded." "Must learn to drive!"
--Abby only knew that "Ichabod" wasn't her Ichabod because faux-Ichy didn't call her LEFTenant. BLESS YOU SLEEPY HOLLOW.
--Katrina is still being held captive by the Headless Horseman and bestowed upon her a necklace that would allow her to see his head. Of course, we know that the Headless Horseman is really Abraham von Brunt (Brom Bones).
--Um. Giant metal man with a flaming sword is scary!
--What are the purple glowing rocks in the cave? Is it part of their spaceship?
--Sappy Norrie and Joey moment #456216
--RIP many people. I'm sorry you had to suffer in Chester's Mill, but you're free of Under the Dome and in a better place now. Don't look back.
--Gotta get me some glow in the dark butterflies.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
--This episode didn't make me laugh as much as the previous ones. Not as many good one-liners. But a small sampling:
"Question one: robbing banks is easy with a TARDIS so why am I not using it." "Question two: where is the TARDIS?" "Yeah, that probably should have been question number one."
"Do you like the new look? I was going for minimalism but I think I came out with magician."
--Psi and Sabre are obvious graduates of Charles Xavier's School for the Gifted
--Anyone else getting tired of the Doctor insulting Clara's looks and clothing choices? It was cute at first but now it's starting to feel a bit misogynistic.
--The various levels of the vaults and their colors were annoying. Yellow, red, green...was it supposed to mean something?
--"Shutitty up up up." Ok, writers we get it. Peter Capadli played Malcolm Tucker to the English world's delight. Stop that homage now, please.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
RIP Pauline. RIP Lyle.
--Why was this episode called Turn?
--The Dome continues to contract but it's based on the emotions of the Dome, or Melanie, or the egg. Or all three.
--"Maybe some questions have no answers." Does this mean I'll never know why the Dome fell?
--I skipped over everything to do with Papa-Q, but who orders the Men in Black around if not him? Sounds like there is still another layer to the conspiracy of the Dome.
--Joey and Norrie suck at spying. They kinda need to stop trying.