Tuesday, September 2, 2014

In Which I Review Under the Dome (2x10)

I really hate when one of my crackpot jokes about this show turns out to be true. Normally, when a theory is proven true, I get excited. But Under the Dome is the exception to the rule because being right means some overly contrived nonsense. A few weeks ago I joked that Barbie and Melanie would turn out to be secret twins. Well, I was half right. They aren't twins but they are brother and sister. Because plot dictated it to be so. There is no reason for them to be related at all except that it manufactures drama for the sake of drama. In this weeks episode, "The Fall," everyone played a round of find the egg! And the egg got mad. 

I'm beginning to hope that this show doesn't get renewed for a third season. At this point, I don't think it's a very good idea. The cheesy factor of Under the Dome has really turned sour and it's becoming a bit unbearable. Why are Barbie and Melanie related? That doesn't add anything to the plot. Why did Angie return from the dead in a two second vision? The season continues to be clumsy and slogging through each episode is taking more and more mental focus than I want to spend, honestly. 

This is going to be a short one. Jim and Pauline are reunited and you can tell that Pauline is less than thrilled at seeing her husband again. Jim was a cold and distant spouse (shocking, I know) and it's obvious that Pauline just wants to get Junior and go. Jim on the other hand still wants to be a family and proposes that they take the egg and leave. This becomes complicated when Junior isn't happy to see mom either and when the two fight, the egg begins to scream. The egg is angry guys! You won't like it when it's angry! Is the egg connected to Junior or Pauline? Or to the emotional force around Chester's Mill? This screaming does wonders to Pauline who goes nuts and starts screaming about pain while simultaneously painting what will happen next. I'm not sure what to make of this drawing. It shows Jim and Junior and the giant cracked dome or egg and there is fire cause fire makes everything scarier. Of course Jim thinks that the egg is causing his wife to be crazy--which it probably is--so he takes it from its hiding place in the basement only for it to knock him out. This egg does not like Jim, guys. It really doesn't. The egg does stop screaming when Norrie picks it up (Momma?) but Jim pulls a gun on the gruesome twosome known as Jorrie and forces them to take him to the Cave of Death. Remember that.

Meanwhile, Barbie and Julia spend the episode looking longingly into each others eyes while I gag. Oh, NOW is the time to have a heart to heart about your future? Really? There is a screaming egg, men in black who apparently don't like you, a mysterious red door, a vortex of terror, and oh yeah, the seasons are changing rapidly, but NOW is a good time to talk about what happens to your relationship after the Dome? Barbie also realizes that Melanie is his sister with some very fast talked dialogue that basically comes down to: Barbie's father, Melanie's mother, old flames, sex, baby, Melanie and Barbie are brother and sister.  But this new kinship does mean that Mel decides to trust Barbie more and agrees to let him have the egg. This girl and her freaking egg. However, the egg has gone missing because Jim has it! Oh no! Quickly! To the Cave of Death!

And because this world is strange, Jim and Jorrie end up at the Cave of Death with the egg and Jim knocks it over the cliff. This is followed by a lot of shaking in which everyone thinks they are going to die! But only one person dies. Oh no! Who will it be?!

Do I care that Phil died? I do not. Do I even remember what purpose Phil had to this show? Nope. So whatever, RIP Phil, I guess. However, loosing the egg is not a good thing. For one, Pauline seems particularly distressed about it, though I suspect Pauline would be distressed if she broke a nail. Second, dropping the egg down the Cave of Death resulted in the portal between Chester's Mill and Zenith closing up so once more everyone is stuck Under the Dome (roll credits). So what the heck was the point of Zenith anyway? Why did we need to see it or go there? Are we ever going to get answers to anything? Probably not. Which is why Season Three is most likely going to happen.

Miscellaneous Notes on The Fall

--The episode annoyed me more than it probably should have.

--Yeah, yeah, yeah. Angie appeared and told Junior that he never loved her, only wanted to posses her. I've been saying that for awhile now.

--Junior beat up Sam. Both yay! and nay! Junior is still Little Crazypants

--Why are the seasons changing so fast? Science Teacher Pine gave some sort of science thing, but she voice is officially a buzzing sound in my head that I ignore.

--"Love me or hate me, I get things done." Yes Big Jim. You do.

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