The whole episode starts with the Agents discussing Asgardian relics. Gee, I wonder if that's significant. I mean, I know I stand around randomly discussing alien technology and the hotness that is Thor. Skye, as usual, is saying stupid things about wanting to fly an Asgard ship and meet Thor because of his dreamyness (Skye, you're supposed to be familiar with the internet. Come on, now. You should know that everyone is obsessed with Loki, not Thor). There is a little set up about how aliens and humans don't mix well. *yawn* I'm sorry, what were you saying, Agents? Was it important? I was too busy rolling my eyes over to obvious set up. Raise your hand if you now think this episode will focus on how humans and aliens cannot mix well. *Raises hands and feet and eyebrows.* Oh, what's this? Random hikers out in the woods who decide to cut down a tree. Well, I'm sure that is perfectly normal and isn't a reflection of what the Agents were just discussing. So these random hikers start cutting down a tree and find a metal rod. From henceforth, I shall refer to the metal rod as a stick. I'm sure it has a fancy name, but considering the idiocy of this entire episode for it be anything but "the stick" would just be silly. The stick makes you HULK out. Oh. Look at that. Another Marvel reference. A person touches the stick and it glows and then you have super human strength and anger and you must embrace the rage. Random Human Angry! Random Human Smash!
Meet random plot device info-dump suspicious guy! I think he has a name. Elliot Randall is what I wrote in my notes, but it is *very* possible that I made that up. Let's just call him Suspicious Professor. Suspicious Professor is an expert in Norse history and myth and has the ability to read the writing on the stick. The agents of SHIELD, the top secret government agency who have dealt with the Asgardians, have a working relationship with the future king and had his younger brother in captivity once CAN'T read the writing, but Suspicious Professor can. Golly, what a wonderful plot device. Alright, here comes the info-dump. Long ago there existed a set of warriors known as the Beserkers who fought in an almost trance induced state of rage and anger. They were the stuff of nightmares. But one lone Berserker fell in love with the Earth and decided that the way of peace was for him. So he took his stick and broke it into thirds and scattered it throughout the earth. Which is dumb. All someone has to do is touch one third of the stick and they Hulk out. So if you loved the earth and its people so much, maybe you should have drowned the stick or destroyed it with fire. Or sent it back to the Asgard. Or, anything else really. At any rate, now the Agents know their mission and they go off to search for the other pieces of the stick and they wind up in an underground tunnel where--lo and behold, wonder of wonders--the Suspicious Professor is seen carrying off another piece of the stick! Ward confronts him, only to touch the stick and is infected with rage! Ward Angry! Ward Smash!
--Ok, so in case you missed it, you should now be properly conditioned to go see Thor 2.
--More Tahiti references and still we won't be getting that story next week. Stop making me wait. Coulson is the only thing saving this show right now.
--May tells Ward that unlike him, she sees her worst memory everyday. Again, writers, you need to develop her. No one cares about the rest of your cast/characters. Work with your strengths and maybe I'll come back next fall.