This is the episode I've been waiting for: the reinterpretation of the original Oz story. We had Zelena's first flashback where were learned how she turned green (mood ring! Zelena) and her history with Oz, but I think everyone has been waiting for Dorothy in her little blue and white checked gingham dress to show up. How do I feel about this episode having watched it twice now? I don't know. Dorothy's story was both like and not like the original; the ONCE Oz story is more about the Wicked Witch than Dorothy (which we knew going in) but Dorothy's purpose was convoluted and--dare I say it--plot devicey and unnecessary in the overall arc. Dorothy appeared because people expected Dorothy to appear. And in present day Storybrooke, Zelena is finally taken down because jewelry is really the most powerful magic of all (diamonds are a girls best friend, don't you know). So when it comes to my reaction to the episode I think the best word is underwhelmed. We got Dorothy? Whoo hoo. Zelena was defeated? Whoo hoo.
Let's go back to Oz. The last time we visited the Emerald City, Zelena turned the Wizard into a flying money and gave into her jealousy, thus causing her to go full on Hulk. Zelena smash! Zelena is still spying on Regina with her magic floor, but it turns out that Zelena has a fan. Enter Glinda, she of the white sparkly plot device. Apparently Glinda has been following Zelena's career as Witch and approves of simian shenanigans (because Glinda and Walsh have history? Seriously, how long has this guy been in Oz? And what history do they share? Also, if Glinda has been following Zelena since her arrival in Oz why didn't she stop Zelena from going to the Enchanted Forest? Or why didn't she rescue Zelena from her abusive father? Why do you keep raising question that you never intend to answer??) Glinda has an offer for Zelena: change your destiny. If hope was the word of the last episode, then destiny is the word of the week now. It is possible that Zelena could be more powerful if she gave up her jealous nature; she could have "real" sisters, who could teach her to harness her power for good! See, here is the problem. Why is this necessary? We know Zelena won't do it. We know that Zelena is obviously green and still jealous. This flashback feels like the Medusa episode of the last half; it's there because the writers think we need it as opposed to actually needing it. They knew there would be hell to pay if the audience didn't see Dorothy, but the writers went at it with the mentality of making her as unimportant as possible. Glinda, though, offers to take Zelena to the circle of Witches (like The View!) to see if she can change her destiny (drink every time I use the word destiny).
Does anyone else find it odd that Dr. Whale is delivering Baby Snowflake? He and Mary Margaret had sex. And last time I checked, Dr. Whale wasn't an OBGYN. But I digress. Snow and the whole family show up at the hospital while Zelena makes Rumple spin straw. Because those are his brains? Apparently Rumple's talisman is the straw he spins into gold, not the dagger. So while spinning he transfers his brains to the straw and then Zelena makes a pretty statue of it. I have no words for this lunacy. The dagger made infinite more sense than a pile of gold straw. But now Zelena almost has everything she needs for this spell: courage, heart, brains. Remind you of anything? The witches, for some reason. I don't know why when Glinda said she wasn't even powerful enough to send Dorothy home but had to have the shiny shoes do it, but ok sure. All Zelena needs now is innocence. Well hello there Snow White. You appear to be pregnant with a baby. Babies are all sorts of innocent!! (groan)
--Someone name that baby before he vanishes again!
--"So what, now I'm cannon fodder?"
--Henry wants a house by the water so Emma won't have to sleep in her car. Ok. Stop giving me SwanFire moments like this after you killed Neal.
--"Destiny is destiny" (double drink)
--"You're a hero now?" "Today I am." Tomorrow, I plan on being anti-hero. The day after that, a villain. You gotta keep the people on their toes, sister.
--Dorothy left Oz with the shoes. But we'll never see them ever again, will we.
--Is it in character for Rumple to kill Zelena? Yes but only if you remove all of S3A from his history. If you include those episodes, it's not.
--Why did Zelena turn to porcelain? That seems so random.
--Please don't let Emma get her magic back with True Love's Kiss from Hook. Give me this one small thing!