In Which I Review Once Upon a Time (7x17)

Remember what I said a few weeks back about how the main objective of this seventh and final season of OUAT was to simply be entertaining? Well, mission accomplished for this week's episode "Chosen." This isn't to say that the episode didn't have some glaring faults and that it couldn't have been improved upon had the writers actually paced this season properly (more on that in a bit) but what we got was decent. The character beats matched characterizations of the past and the themes stumbled upon at various points in the episode felt like they belonged in OUAT. Happy endings come at strange times and sometimes you need to be hunted down by a serial killer in order to reckon with your own past. And no, the irony that Zelena herself is a serial killer is not lost on me. Readers, can you believe we only have five episodes to go? Forever. Steady as she goes, teetering toward the finish line trying to wrap up all the stories in a neat little bow. 

A Mean Green Killing Machine (But She's Trying)

Let's talk a little bit about bloat. Narratively speaking, this season of OUAT has certainly suffered from it. There are too many characters, too many ideas, too many plot points and none of them feel fully developed to the point where those narrative beats are worthy of our time and attention. I'm not back tracking the faint praise from above; I meant what I said--this episode was mildly entertaining and fits comfortably in with OUAT's overall series. But that doesn't excuse that this episode--and the preceding ones--could have been much better had the writers not wasted so much time on unnecessary bloat at the start of this season. Victoria/Rapunzel/Lady Tremaine has been dead for six episodes now and her death has barely registered in any meaningful way. Her daughter, Drizella, did the typical moment of mourning that this show is known for before focusing back on herself and her sister, Anastasia (another figure, by the way, who could be culled from this narrative and not be missed). It seems as though the writers changed their minds about a third of the way through the first half of this season. Maybe they intended Victoria to play a much bigger role, to be more villainous and to have Mother Gothel be only a side villain but when the Victoria actress fizzled out and the actress playing Gothel showed her skills to be more advanced, everything shifted. Also, in that same regard, I have to wonder if Nick was always Hansel or if he was originally intended to be part of a love triangle; his story shifted when the showrunners learned that OUAT would be ending this year and they couldn't just have him be the male version of season one's Katherine. I say this because there was a moment in this episode where Hansel is describing his friendship with Henry and how it affected him; Henry made Hansel (now called Jack) into a hero after an epic giant fight. It's moving, it's special and it lends a bit of color both to Nick/Jack/Hansel and to the bond between him and Henry, which up until now has been next to nothing. These two men have barely interacted and only now are we hearing that their friendship is so powerful that it gave hope to a lost, scarred man. That's good meaty character development and insight but it was left as an exposition dump in the last seconds of Nick's appearance so again, I have to wonder if it's because of narrative bloat at the beginning of the season. Facilier falls into this category as well. He entered into the field so late in the game as more than a one-off flashback character that now that his plan has been mostly revealed--wake up fairy tale characters who can help him kill Mother Gothel so he can secure the dagger for himself--it feels totally out of left field and as if it should have been a season long arc instead of a five to seven episode arc. Obviously, I am not in the writers room and cannot say for certain if things got shifted at the last second but it sure feels like we've made an abrupt left turn into narrative beats that would be better served being told over a long period of time. I know that sounds like a criticism but it's also a compliment because there's good stuff here: Facilier is more menacing than Rapunzel and I look forward to his eventual on screen interaction with Mother Gothel; the idea of Henry not being able to save his best friend from torment but trying anyway would make for compelling TV viewing because of the audience's predisposition to root for Henry and to care for him. This show got so bloated down in the total bomb of Rapunzel that it missed what could have been a far more compelling story. But, ah, it wouldn't be OUAT if we didn't have a season's worth of potential to talk about.

Miscellaneous Notes on Chosen 

--“I know who you are, Captain.” “It’s Detective.”

--The logo for the Rollin’ Bayou shirts is a lightening bug. Nice “Princess and the Frog” reference.

--“I suppose no matter how far we come, there’s a nasty little piece we can’t lose.” “And we shouldn’t. Because it shows us how far we’ve come, and how much we have to lose.” That’s it. That should be the villain redemption thesis for all the villains. You can’t rid yourself of your darkness because it’s part of you, always; you have to reckon with it.

--Hansel and Gretel are from Oz? Zelena’s Oz? As in Oz of Universe 1.0? How…? Why…? What…?

--I doubt Zelena will be gone for long but what happens when Chad finds out everything--like about her being the Wicked Witch of the West and her tendency to kill munchkins?

--Soooo is Zelena/Ivo pre-Hades, post-Hades? When in this messed up timeline are we??