Saturday, December 16, 2017
In Which I Review Once Upon a Time (7x9 and 7x10)
Magic has once again been ripped from the Enchanted Forest. Sure, it's not the Enchanted Forest you know and remember from seasons past but these aren't the characters you know and remember; it's not the Curse you know and remember and it's not the show you know and remember. In other words, it's poetic that as magic is being removed once again from the make believe fantasy world of Once Upon a Time, the audience is getting a nice hefty reminder that the magic--television magic--has also fled. What would make this season of OUAT successful? That's the question I posed in most of my reviews, trying to figure out how much newness this show could withstand while also grappling with the question of how much nostalgia to hold on to. It's a precarious balance and I certainly didn't envy the writers the task. When a show has gone through as much change as Once Upon a Time has, trying once again to reinvent the wheel will usually only yield a very sloppy wheel. For example, you have original Once Upon a Time, which I denote as seasons one through the first half of three. The characters were well developed, logical, and the mythology made enough sense to allow the audience to keep abreast of new developments but also to theorize and try their hand at detective work (ie: who is Baelfire?) Original Once Upon a Time was like sitting down to read your favorite fairy tale only to discover that it had been upgraded to an adult fanfiction of the highest caliber. After the original came Secondary Once Upon a Time which stretches from the second half of season three to the end of season six. This is the era in which the characters stopped making sense, the storylines began focusing more on the villains and their redemption at the expense of the heroes, and the mythology became sketchy, unclear, and altogether unknowable. This was like sitting down to read your favorite fairy tale only to discover that a three year old had gone over it in Sharpie marker, replacing key points with poop emojis. Readable? Yes. Enjoyable? Less so. Now we have Tertiary Once Upon a Time, a story that I don't even know how to quantify yet. What exactly is this seventh season? Yes, parts of it are interesting and there's some really good work happening with the likes of Alice and Drizella, two characters who would easily blend into the Original OUAT but those two alone aren't enough to save what is ultimately a poor story. I hate discussing plot. I'd much rather talk about archetypes, themes, religion, character motivation, ect but I have to at least pause here and try to puzzle out the plot of this year so that I might touch upon those other ideas.
--I'm sorry if this review doesn't actually discuss the episodes in question much. I'm slowly beginning to question my resolution to see this show through to the very end. Or at least to blog every single episode.
--“Right. Well, I’m not here to discuss timelines.” In other words, the writers would really like for us all to stop questioning how their world works and simply take it for what it is: under developed and at the whims of an external force.
--Why would you keep the frozen statue form of the woman who threatened to curse you inside your house on display?
--It’s pretty obvious that Alice and Robyn are going to be serious love interests. They can bond over the fact that their mothers raped their fathers in order to conceive them. (gags)
--Welcome back Zelena, I guess? I get what the writers are going for making Zelena engaged and having her choose her family over her life as Kelly but sometimes the writers take the whole “family over everything” throughline too far. Like, Kelly’s fiancee is her family too and Zelena even says she still loves him!
--The Eighth Ingredient is the never before heard of magic from a witch who crushed the heart of the thing she loves most. Good LORD. That’s the most oddly specific and dumb plot device since “blood of a man who’s been to hell and back.”
--Why should I even care about how powerful Anastasia is?. We literally just met her! And why is she even this powerful?
--Plot Device Battle: which is dumber? The magic from a witch who crushed the heart of the thing she loves most OR a white elephant that helps you remember your most important relationship?
--I usually review the arc as a whole during this winter finale wrap up but if my above review doesn't tell you all you need to know then I don't think another paragraph will do it. Needless to say, there are bright spots (Rumple and Belle's episode, Roni, Alice, and Drizella) but the overwhelming negatives outweigh all the good. The season continues the writers trend of biting off more than they can chew and not actually letting plots unfold at a steady pace leaving room for emotional growth and audience attachment.
Final Episode Ranking for S7A (lowest to highest)
10. The Eighth Witch (7x10)
9. A Pirate's Life (7x2)
8. Pretty In Blue (7x8)
7. Greenbacks (7x5)
6. One Little Tear (7x9)
5. The Garden of Forking Paths (7x3)
4. Eloise Gardener (7x7)
3. Hyperion Heights (7x1)
2. Wake Up Call (7x6)
1. Beauty (7x4)
Final Grade for S7A: C/C-
See you all in March!