Monday, March 24, 2014
In Which I Review Once Upon A Time (3x14)
Who Is The Next Disney Princess On The List?
The episode opens as several Once Upon a Time episode do--with a dream sequence. Dream sequences can be overdone on TV, but on a show built on myth and magic, dreams make more sense than they do on other sitcoms. Dreams, in the classic world, were often seen as portents for future events and by reading the dream you could figure out your destiny. This dream sequence was set up to be something loving and delightful but then quickly turned into a horror film-esque moment--complete with spinning doll heads and daughter sucking wardrobes. Charming finds himself in Emma's old nursery, a place that is a direct contrast to the hallway Charming had previously been in--dark and alone and complete with the Evil Queen theme music. The nursery was bright and full of hope and happiness--the life Charming and Snow and Emma should have had. Instead of a baby infant Emma, however, Charming finds his little girl all grown up, standing in a (very poofy) princess ball gown, preparing for her first dance.
Meanwhile, 9 months (what. how. No. Learn math, Adam and Eddy) later the gang of 5 are at Casa Snowing discussing the winged creatures known as Flying Monkeys and how the Wicked Witch is after them. It's time to search for clues! Hey, I know! Why don't we look at the newbie in town who has wormed her way into Snow's life and is constantly wearing a giant GREEN emerald? Come on, guys. We've done this before: mysterious stranger in town, knows a lot, is super helpful. Probably got something else up her sleeve. But they ignore the warning signs and go to inspect Regina's office where Charming tries to smell blood only to determine that it is hollyberries that grow in the woods. Rolling my eyes over here. First, really Charming? You tried to smell blood? Second, Regina claims she went over her office with a fine tooth comb and found no clues, but oh look! Berry juice! Okay then. So now we are looking for a witch with berries on her shoes. Charming has an appointment with the villain and so we are left with Hook and Emma to go off in search of the berry-witch. But one scene at a time because our characters end up splitting into different groups.
The ending sets up the mystery for next week (and yes, I am skipping over the Hook and Emma stuff in the woods because I'm a little miffed that he's glad Emma's heart is broken. But I am happy she called him on his lying crap. I think Hook knows what happened to Neal). Regina, Emma, Charming and Hook make their way to the storm cellar at Zelena's to discover that the lock is broken. But inside they find a spinning wheel and straw that has been turned into gold. "Who do we know who can turn straw into gold?" asks Charming. Only one person. And now they know Rumple is alive.
--First lack luster episode of the season. There has to be one or two each season, I know, but I hope this doesn't signal the downfall of season 3B. The first two episodes were great.
--Mrs. Gold. Ok, I'm calling it now. Rumbelle wedding by seasons end.
--Shaving Rumple was really disturbing. Please never do that again
--Sweet Henry and Regina moment by the lake. However, why isn't Henry more confused about why everyone in town wants to get to know him? And why is Henry spilling secrets to a woman he's met once? Just because she bought him ice cream?
--Hook is back to making moon eyes at Emma and lying to her face. Yippee.
--WHERE THE HELL IS NEAL. *ahem* I'm fine.