Monday, December 9, 2013
In Which I Review Once Upon A Time (3x10)
Snow White is a Bridezilla. Now, I mean that lovingly because it is always nice to see scenes from the pilot and I do love Snow. Opening with the wedding and Regina's threat is a nice way to remind the audience how this all started. But Snow ain't got time for this. Her kingdom is under attack by an evil witch and even a moment as nice as her wedding comes second. Much to poor Charming's dismay. All the newly wed husband wants is to take his bride on their honeymoon and bask in their eternal love. And have sex. Lots of sex. Or, I suppose, with this being a show owned by Disney: "create beautiful music." Do you know what the first good step in a new marriage is? Lying. Snow gets Charming to agree to go to the summer palace, promising a relaxing honeymoon and not worrying about Regina. But of course, the little princess has other plans. There is something near the palace that may help Snow defeat Regina for good.
Ok, the title of my section is a lie (like cake!). But come one. Did you honestly expect that I wasn't going to dedicate one section of this blog to them? I mean, my GOD. Look at that picture. Look how HAPPY my Imp is. Look how he has his happy ending (Neal) and his happily ever after (Belle). Look how joyful he is! He is never joyful! He is always filled with constant dread and feelings of self-loating and self-hatred and thinking that everyone will leave him someday. He is convinced that everyone he loves will walk out on him, leaving him shattered. And there he is, back from what he thought was certain death, surrounded by the two people who love him most, holding him up, ensuring that the earth stays where it is supposed to. I got lost in the intense Rumbelle feelings this week. There are so many scenes I want to talk about. And by talk about I mean cry over. Let's start with a the actual reunion of Belle and Rumple. "I told you I would see you again." Have I mentioned Rumple's mountain sized abandonment issues? Huge. Massive. Belle is the only one who ever came back and she keeps coming back. She is constantly reinforcing that he is not alone; he is not a monster, a pathetic wreck of a man who doesn't deserve love or happiness. And his response? "This is the last time I don't listen to you." That's right, my Imp. You listen to her!
Next Time I Recommend Destroying the World Ripping Curse
Panry (Pan-in-Henry-suit) is out for blood. Or rather a very important piece of paper. That Regina failed to DESTROY?! WHY?! Why would you keep the scroll to the darkest Curse in existence inside of a box and not destroy it?! Ok, let's back up. Panry has a plan: he wants to use the Curse--the original one--and turn Storybrooke into the New Neverland. And to do that, he must get everyone to trust him so that they will lead him to what he wants. This is pretty easy with Regina who is just glad to be loved again; and everyone else is too happy to be home again to see how obvious Panry is being with his machinations. I mean, come on guys! Everyone falls for it, except Emma.
Oh, there is one more thing we need to talk about, I guess.
I'm going to take this Triangle side by side. Let's start with SwanFire. This whole episode was a giant Snowing and SwanFire parallel. Charming wants Snow to have moments in between the danger, and Neal is asking Emma to have a moment in between all the crazy. A moment that Emma isn't too sure she wants. At the giant party at Granny's, Hook tells Neal that he is going to back off perusing Emma to let Neal have a shot (lies spew so easily from this pirate's mouth). And Neal thanks Hook and goes to ask Emma to talk with him (because Neal is a decent man who doesn't understand that Hook is a double crossing horrible person). Neal asks Emma to lunch, simply saying that if she shows up they can eat and talk. If not, he'll stop bugging her and let her be. He won't pressure her or play mind games. Poor Emma. What's a girl to do? The next day she fights the urge to go, wasting time worrying about Panry until Charming convinces her to go and have a moment. Because she owes it to herself. And then Blue gets killed and she never makes it to lunch. Oh. My heart. Neal's face in the diner, waiting for Emma to show was devastating. He thinks she chose to be other places, and not with him. I really hope Emma tells Neal that she was on her way to see him. My heart can't take them loosing this battle.
Miscellaneous Notes on The New Neverland
--So many reunions! Ariel and Eric's was a little rushed and I wished it had more talking, but I'll take it. The Darling family's was very sweet. And Neal got to see them again!!
--Belle dressed Rumple. Fandom, I expect smut in two days time of this scene.
--Please don't give up, Neal. You and Emma are meant to be! I promise. Keep fighting.
--10000000000000000000% done with Hook. Did I mention that?
--RIP Blue Fairy. If you really are dead. Which I doubt. A lot.
--How will Panry enact the Curse? He needs the heart of the thing he loves most, but isn't that himself?
--One more episode and then we're off for 3 months. Expect next week to be super long with an extra "season in review"