Tuesday, September 10, 2013

In Which I Review Under the Dome (1x12)

In this week's installment of Under the Dome, "Exigent Circumstances," it's Team Barbie vs Team Jim. I bet you can't guess what team I'm on...

I'm on team you're-trapped-inside-a-transparent-extraterrestrial-super-dome-why-the-hell-are-we-fiddling-with-this-minor-political-nonsense?! 

Also Big Jim killed Dodee this week. I would be surprised and upset except that I've come to expect that Under The Dome takes all that is good in this world and kills it. Like plot and character development. Dodee was funny and kind and sweet without being saccharine. An added bonus, she possessed that trait the rest of the town seems to be lacking: common sense. So naturally she had to die.

Team Big Jim
Players: the town (AKA: the extras who get paid $100/day to stand around with their arms crossed looking nervous); Linda and Junior 

Fresh off alerting the town of Chester's Mill to the danger that is Dale "Barbie" Barbara, Big Jim finds himself in front of his citizens, giving a rousing speech about how the Dome will not destroy them! If you look closely, I'm sure you could see placards, American flags, and babies with freshly pinched cheeks. The citizenry of Chester's Mill, fearing for their lives, demand that Big Jim declare a state of emergency and search their homes for signs of Barbie. Big Jim puts on his best "this is still America and we still have a Constitution" face which is ironic given that a few weeks ago he made the case to Linda that America exists outside the Dome and he need not follow any law. In the end Big Jim "relents" and sends out his newly formed Gestapo to search people's homes. 
Jim gets waylaid by Dodee who has just overheard on her oh-so-convenient radio (which must be set to station Important Information 101 FM) that not only are the military looking for Barbie but that he is the only one who has the necessary expertise to handle the "egg." Dodee shows Jim the photos she snapped of the egg in the barn on her iPhone before it shocked her. Jim tucks away this valuable information but just then station Important Information 101 FM decides to inform Dodee that Jim is responsible for killing Creepy Rev and she puts two and two together. I'll give Dodee this: she faced her death with a lot of bravery telling Big Jim what an asshat he is. To make sure that no one would ever figure out that Jim is responsible for the killings inside Chester's Mill, he set the station on fire and shot all the radio equipment. Overkill is Big Jim's style (get it? It's a pun. He's killed a lot and now he shoots radio equipment that would have been destroyed in the fire. Never mind...)
 Big Jim sends Junior to the clinic to guard Julia; make no mistake, Jim doesn't care about Julia's safety but Julia is the only one who knows that Barbie didn't shoot her. His plan to keep Julia "safe" go ever so slightly awry when Team Barbie decides to step in.

Team Barbie
Players: Jorrie and Angie and by extension Carolyn who has finally left the house and is acting like a mother (a bad ass one at that)

Barbie was last seen taking off for part unknown. He didn't get far though. Because he's TRAPPED IN A DOME. Ugh. Seriously.

Barbie manages to convince Angie, through absolutely no effort, that he is innocent of all the killings and that Big Jim is really the culprit. Angie agrees to help Barbie out. Barbie's plan? Rescue the comatose Julia and drive off. I would like to repeat my incredulity: YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A DOME. Where are you going to go? Seriously. Please explain this to me.

Angie, ever willing to help, decides that she has to be the one to distract Junior while he prowls the clinic's hallways. Slipping into her hideous candy stripper uniform she pulls Junior aside by batting her eyelashes, soft whispers, and hand holding. Angie is an idiot. While psycho Junior is distracted by Angie's lips, Barbie wheels Julia out of the clinic and into the ambulance. A quick farewell to his lady love (apparently after two weeks of acquaintance and one week of intense BBQing, it's true love), and Angie drives off. I'm not even going to bother repeating myself.
Sadly, at this point Junior has becomes aware of Angie's deception and alerts Linda that Barbie is hiding at the clinic. Linda arrives just in time to arrest Barbie. Angie drives around for a bit before realizing that there is an APB out on her ambulance and it won't be long before someone finds her (BECAUSE YOU'RE TRAPPED IN A DOME, YOU SENSELESS...), so thus decides to hide Julia back in the clinic. Julia wakes up and tells Angie that Barbie didn't shoot her, Max No-Last-Name did.

Meanwhile, while Linda is busying becoming the worst sheriff ever, Jim has gone over to Angie and Joey's barn in search of the mini-dome and egg so he can destroy it. Everyone is under the impression that the mini-dome and egg are the "heart" or generator of the big Dome. Destroy the little one and the big one goes away. Jim can't have this. Jorrie and Carolyn are determined to keep Jim from the mini-dome and have taken steps to hide the precious in long-haired Asian skateboarder's house. Ben reacts like any stoner skateboarder would: "cool dude." More on the mini-dome in a second. Jim locks up Norrie and Joey and does an excellent job of threatening Norrie. Norrie, who has a knife in her boot, tries to kill Jim but only succeeds in killing his shirt sleeve.
Realizing he will get nowhere with Jorrie, Big Jim turns his threats to Barbie and makes a deal: confess to the crimes in public and I won't go after the kids and Julia. Barbie agrees. And the mini-dome gets ANGRY. Remember last week when the Big Dome went all Hulk and decided to smash everything with its weather cyclone of doom? The mini-dome starts making some god awful shrieking noise and the little butterfly cocoon (sorry, Joey has just informed me that it's a chrysalis )  begins to come apart. As this is happening and the egg lights are going crazy, Barbie stands in front of the town and announces that he is not guilty. Cue the black screen.

Miscellaneous Notes from Exigent Cirumstances

--Glad to see Carolyn up and about and really be a kick butt lawyer. Also nice to hear Norrie call her mom.

--Norrie has a knife in her boot. Then pick the lock of the jail cell, you idiot. It doesn't matter if you maybe can't do this in real life. This is TV land where such things happen with ease!

--"You taste like cigarettes." Yeah, well you taste like crazy.

--I wish Linda would get a backbone. 

--One episode left this season. Predictions? Barbie and Jim engage in all out war; the mini-dome hatches the butterfly; the kids kill Big Jim and and crown Barbie; the aliens invade.


  1. First, there is this bit of wondrous humor you provided: "You taste like cigarettes." Yeah, well you taste like crazy. <- Literally had to run to the bathroom. Also, so what? Angie smokes, it isn't a secret and that immediately sets off Stupid-Head-Sexy-Lips' spidey senses?!
    And as you predicted Jacquelyn, I hated this episode. With each passing scene I have come to despise Linda for her continuing stupidity and I now want to try to wrap my hands around BIG Jim's blubbery throat and beat his head into a wall; this man is evil.
    There were only two redeeming bits in this episode; Carolyn getting back on her feet and coming out seining, and Barbie grinning while proclaiming "Not Guilty."

    Side note: If the pink stars are falling, why are they constantly flowing upwards on the egg?

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