In Which I Review Once Upon a Time (3x13)

 Bring it, Greenie.

Regina gets the best lines. Another fantastic episode of Once Upon a Time with this week's "Witch Hunt." I am tentatively optimistic about this half of the season at this point. The writers seem to have recognized a few mistakes from the first Neverland portion of the season--namely, leaving huge reveals until the last possible second and dragging out the plot. The fact that the *big* reveal came in the second episode of the season sets a nice pace for building the mythology the writers are exploring. But the added bonus  was wonderful character moments and actual dialogue instead of constant action. People sat at tables (or cars) and talked! Heaven be praised. A bit of an English lesson first. What is a witch hunt? Yes, in our case it's an actual hunt for an actual witch, but it can also be the act of unfairly looking for and punishing people who are accused of having opinions that are believed to be dangerous or evil. This episode saw a lot of people accusing an innocent because she has wronged them in the past. Oh Regina Mills, how far you've come.

Wicked vs Evil

Despite last week's pep talk, Regina still can't see a way to live without Henry. Everywhere she looks, her life seems to be slipping away from her. Someone has taken over her castle; she is working with the people she attempted to curse and kill and her son doesn't remember who she is. All in all, Regina is having a bit of a bad day. The heroes are still looking for a way into the castle and luckily Regina mentions the super secret tunnels that run underground. A bit of a complaint here, but since when? And why doesn't Snow know about them? It was Snow's castle before Regina drove her out. Super convenient tunnels appear when the plot dictates,  I suppose. But still, it's a tad annoying. But my focus on the magically appearing never before mentioned super secret tunnels was only momentary as our group was then attacked by a flying monkey sent to retrieve Regina.

These things are freaky as hell.While it does appear that they serve the Wicked Witch, the one sent to retrieve Regina seems to do it willingly and with fervor. It also thinks the Wicked Witch looks good in Regina's clothing. So the monkey has independent thought? Good to know. Can it turn into a human too? How exactly does that work? Was it a human first and then monkey? Or monkey first then human? Is anyone else confused by the monkey? The monkey, of course, misses Regina and almost gets poor little Roland--Robin Hood's son--but Regina swoops in and saves the little tyke. And then presents Roland with a stuffed monkey that was formerly trying to kill him. Regina, you get points here for effort but if I was a little kid I would not want a toy of the thing that almost killed me. Would you want to cuddle up with that thing? Have it stare at you in the darkness? No. I think not.

We get a bit of exposition here in which it is revealed that our characters don't know things I feel like they should know. Nobody know that Oz is a real place? Really? How is that possible? Only two people know--Regina and Belle. Regina is understandable; she traveled with Jefferson and his hat and I'm sure one of the doors inside the hat takes you to Oz. Belle is also understandable in that she has read the Oz books. But why doesn't Snow know? Does this mean that her mother, Eva, wasn't from Oz as many people have speculated? Did the Enchanted Forest never receive guests from foreign lands? Neither Snow nor Charming seemed surprised that Neverland existed, so why not Oz? It is possible that this was a way to get Belle to speak some dialogue since the writers never quite know what to do with her, but it is also possible that Oz is a bad land that people just don't talk about. In the opening scene, the Witch remarks that Regina's jewels could feed a family for a lifetime back home and later she'll talk about Oz as if it's not the best place to grow up. This is a bit of a disconnect in my head as I've always associated Oz with happiness and fun and color! Yes there are witches but overall, it's a perfectly jolly place. Then again, so was Neverland...

The plan, then, is to have Regina sneak into the castle through the tunnels and then drop the barrier, allowing an army to come in and drive out the Witch. Regina insists she go alone so of course that doesn't happen. Whenever a character says the must do something alone, you can count on someone else tagging along. Enter he-of-the-lion-tattoo-and-cute-kid. Alas known as Regina's soul mate. Also known as Robin Hood. Hello, sparks! Wow. I wasn't quite sure about Outlaw Queen going into this season because the fact that some pixie dust already declared that this is Regina's soul mate without letting Regina discover it for herself was a let down, but after this episode, I am all aboard the Outlaw Queen ship. These two are quite scene stealers. I enjoy that Robin stands up to Regina; she needs a strong man in her life who won't put up with her Evil Queen ways. Robin acknowledges that he owes a debt to Regina for saving Roland's life and insists that he go with her. So long as he stays out of her way, Regina begrudgingly agrees. While traversing the tunnels, the two have a nice little chat and we learn that Marian was killed, accidentally, and that Robin blames himself. I'm guessing Marian found herself on the wrong side of an arrow. Mutual loss will bring them together. Interesting coupling tactic. The two find the entrance to the castle which Regina has sealed in blood magic, meaning only her or a relative could open the do--and the door is open! Cue the dramatic music.

How powerful is this Witch that she could break through blood magic? Or is something else going on here? (Yes, it's the latter of those two options.) Now inside her bed chamber, Regina reveals her real plan for coming to the castle. She doesn't care about the Witch--she can have the castle and her clothes and the jewels and whatever else she wants. Regina just wants to end her suffering. Oh sure, she'll put down the barrier in order to let Snow and Charming in (character improvement!) but then after, she's going to prick her finger with a needle laced with a sleeping curse and go into a deep sleep, full of nightmares. Maybe someday her true love, Henry, will wake her up. But until then, Regina wants no part of this game of heroes and villains. I love that Robin called Regina on this nonsense, told her that she'd find a new reason to go on living: "we all get second chances." Yes, you will Regina, and he's standing right in front of you! Quick Robin! Flash your tattoo!

Regina is determined to fall into an eternal sleep, but the Wicked Witch has other ideas. Enter, show down number one (for I am sure that there will be plenty more). Like Regina's interactions with Robin Hood, the chemistry between the two is rather sparky and fun to watch. We learn a bit more (ok a lot more) about the Wicked Witch. First, her name is Zelena (it means green in Croatian) and she doesn't really want Regina's castle or jewels. She wants to destroy Regina, take her down several pegs. Why, you ask? Family, of course. To the casual viewer this was probably a huge shock, but for me it was just confirmation of a theory long brewing. Zelena is Regina's half sister--daughter of Cora and (insert father of your choice here). Who is the father, you might ask? There are several possibilities floating around right now. According to Zelena, Cora had the baby before Cora became royalty. It's possible that Cora had the baby when she was still poor and the Miller's Daughter and was then forced to give the baby up. A lot of people are speculating Rumple, but I really don't think so. Cora said in "The Miller's Daughter" that no child of hers would ever be Rumple's. This would be a major retcon and not one I am prepared to live with. Some people are also speculating on Leo, Snow's father, thus tying the two families further together. My personal headcanon is that the father is the Wizard himself, a traveling salesman/gypsy who had a fling with Cora while he was moving around the Enchanted Forest and then ended up taking the baby to Oz with him, perhaps at the behest of Cora and perhaps not. So why is Zelena going after Regina? Because Regina had everything--the mother, the father, the castle, the life, the love and Zelena got nothing but Oz. Regina was even chosen by Rumple to cast the original curse, something Rumple was apparently training Zelena to do until he gave up on her. Why? Was it because she was too dark and loved nothing? That should be a good story. In the end, Regina chooses not to put herself to sleep because she finally has the one thing she has been without for awhile, "someone to destroy!" Good luck with that Regina.

I Think the Newbie in Town Might Be Hiding Something

People are disappearing. They go into the woods and don't come out. This is how all horror movies start. Now I just need a girl dressed in a nighty running barefoot screaming for help and the image is complete. There are a lot of questions being asked in this episode: who is missing (Neal?), what happened to them? Who cursed the town? And how did Hook get to Emma? Did you notice that Hook changed his story in this episode. Last week he got a message (no mention of the bird) and then scavenged for ingredients for the memory potion. This week, a bird landed on the wheel of the Jolly Roger with a note to fetch Emma. The bird was also carrying a vial of memory potion. There is something fishy about all this. I'm not trying to say that Hook is working for Zelena but rather the real story is far more complicated than a message from a bird. Message via bird does sound like Snow, but we've seen others use the same method including Rumple, Neal and August. The mystery remains! So who is missing? So far, 5 dwarves and Neal. Of course. Neal is always missing. Can't have a season without Neal missing now can we? (frustrated fan moment). But at least Emma asks after him (happy shipper moment).

So what is happening to the good folks of Storybrooke? In season one, if they got too close to the town line, "bad things" would happen, but it was always left somewhat vague about what those bad things were. In this season, get too close to the town line and a monster comes and snatches you up out of the sky and tries to make you his dinner! The flying monkeys are in Storybrooke. Of course they are. What's a Wicked Witch without those flying monkeys? But let's make this even more strange. What happens when you get bit by a flying monkey? You turn into one. So they are Vampire Flying Monkeys! Excellent. This is what this show needed--vampire flying monkeys. I don't know if this so so stupid and strange that it actually works or if it's just stupid and strange. I will say the transformation of Little John into a monkey was very well done. Charming's reaction (and everyone else's) was also perfect. "Okay. I didn't see that coming." Also, hello Star Trek shout out! "I'm a doctor not a vet!" Very nice ultimate geek moment there for the viewers who enjoy such things (like me!).

While the boys are dealing with monkeys, Emma is trying to track down who cast the new Curse. Instead of talking to people one by one, Emma gathers the town into the hall and tries to talk to them calmly. Except these people are never calm. But it does give us a nice opportunity to see who is there and who is not. Granny is still there, Belle and Archie and Whale are too. So far it seems to be just Neal and the dwarves who have gone missing. And as expected many are placing the blame on Regina, who insists she is innocent. Why would she do this and not find a way to get Henry back? She curses other people to make them unhappy, not to make herself unhappy. Good point, Regina. Emma joins in with the accusations, but in a nice turn of events, Emma and Regina have set up a ruse. They are trying to smoke out the real person who cast the curse. The Emma and Regina interactions this episode were really spectacular. It's interesting to see how far they've come. Emma can tell that Regina isn't lying about not casting the Curse and instead they decided to help each other. Regina can't get back her memories but they can try and catch the baddie.

There were a lot of really good Regina character moments, but by far my favorite was the final one with Henry. When the show first started, I really loathed Regina. A lot. I thought she was a horrible villain with a terrible agenda based on anger and rage. It has taken 3 seasons but now I really do like her. And watching her have to shake Henry's hand and act as if she has never met him before was heartbreaking. Regina thought she'd never see him again but there he is, except he has no idea who she is. And also, props to Jared Gilmore for managing to convey that Henry has no idea who this lady is. It can't have been easy since they spent the first few seasons together as mother and son.

So is the curse caster in Storybrooke? Of course. And if she's creepy in the Enchanted Forest, then she's doubly so in the Maine burg. Apparently in this world, Zelena is a midwife. That's nice. Do we have any pregnant ladies around who might be in need of her help?

Run away, Snow White. Run away.

Zelena has the nice lady act down, I'll give her that. She's sweet and kind and helpful. Snow White seems to have fallen for her lies, hook line and sinker. Of course niceness is just a facade because we know that Zelena is the Wicked Witch. And what do all good Wicked Witches need? Apart from flying monkeys and a plan?

A hostage.

Alright. Zelena must die.

My poor Imp!! What has she done to you?! Rumple is alive, in a cage, and out of his ever loving mind. He is totally batty--full on loony Dark One Rumple with the giggle and the voice and the crazy! How did Zelena find him? Where was he? Why is he insane? Why does she have him hostage? Where can I get a bucket of water to throw on her? Current theory: Zelena found Rumple's dagger and is using him to do her evil deeds. But where is Neal? Is he locked up too? Is he a flying monkey? Is he *gulp* dead? Something tells me it's only going to get stranger from here on out.

Miscellaneous Notes on Witch Hunt

--This episode was written by Jane Espenson, and you can tell because it had some fabulous lines.
"Are we talking east or west?" "Does it matter?" "Well, one you drop a house on and the other you throw a bucket of water at."
"I don't care if she's being guarded by the lollipop guild."
"You mean the monster you were going to marry?" "You were going to marry someone?" "Did you miss the part where I said it was a monster?"
--"We were cellmates." "What were you in for?" "Banditry?"
"They're turning into flying monkeys?" "Yes. He took on simian form with the added bonus of wings"
"The Wicked Witch?? She's real too?" "Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming."
"That's impossible! You're green!" "And you're rude"

--I really don't want Neal to be a monkey

--When will Henry get his memories back? At the end of the season? I hope not.

--I think Zelena's curse will be broke by TLK between Henry and Regina

In Which I Review Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (1x10)

Got a secret; can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save. Better lock it your pocket, taking this one to the grave. 

Everyone has secrets. Sometimes the secrets are mythic and world changing, and sometimes the secrets we keep are the tiny lies we tell ourselves about who we truly are. Tucked away in the recesses of our mind, we keep bits of information that if found out, could damn us. In this week's episode of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, "Dirty Little Secrets," secrets are revealed, answers are given, and the battle for Wonderland takes a turn for the worse. I must say, before the review, this was the best episode of the season so far. It's a shame that Once Wonderland wasn't give more of a chance with the audience. Each episode lately is better than the last and I find that watching Wonderland is more relaxing and fun than watching ONCE proper. 

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished  

It's about time we got Cyrus's backstory. For the first half of the show, Cyrus felt really under developed. He sat in his cage, made speeches about love and finding Alice and made what were often viewed as half-hearted escape attempts but had no real depth. All of those criticisms are now washed (pun!) away with this episode. Part of me wondered how they would handle Cyrus in the past. Would he be as noble and heroic as he is in the present? Turns out no! Which I suppose shouldn't surprise me; this is Once Upon a Time after all. Cyrus was a bit of scroundal, though I suppose a loveable one. He cheated at cards, drank, got into fights. He was a typical young adult male, in other words. But underneath that, he had a good heart--one that loves his brothers and his mother. And, as we can see in this episode, a heart that can become consumed by guilt.

After a card game, in which Cyrus's is accused of cheating, angry ruffians set Cyrus's house ablaze--with his mother trapped inside. Pretty harsh, if you ask me. The brothers are able to put out the flames, but not before their mother is badly burned in the process, now very near death. Thankfully magic might save the day (as it does so often). There is a legend of a special place called the Well of Wonders. The waters inside the Well are so powerful they can make a scared man brave and heal the injured and dying. If Cyrus and his brothers can get some of those waters and give them to their mother, then her burns can be healed and she could live. Cyrus's brothers, especially the eldest, seem worried that messing with deep magics might have unforeseen consequences (theme!) but Cyrus, wracked with guilt, persuades them to go along with him to the Well.

The Well of Wonders is guarded by Nyx. Oh hello, Greek mythology. Who is Nyx? Nyx in Greek means night and in myth she is the embodiment of night and darkness. She is one of the first goddesses "born" in Hesiod'd Theogony and she is normally associated with her two daughter, Hypnos (Sleep) and Thanatos (Death). She has a few other daughters, one of whom I'm going to mention in a bit because I think I have a pretty solid theory. Until then, Nyx is the Guardian of the Well and she is not thrilled with the idea of Cyrus and his brothers taking her waters. Nyx tells Cyrus that the waters can only be taken for those who's destines are not yet written, but his mother's fate is sealed. If Cyrus does not return the water then he will pay the price. It's the only warning she gives before vanishing back into the depths. Nyx is rather terrifying. Put her with Jabberwocky and they could totally take over the world. Cyrus does not want to heed the warnings of Nyx; his guilt has consumed him and he is determined to right his wrong. His brothers question if he wants to save their mother or if he wants to alleviate his conscience. I suspect it is more the latter than the former, but that's what makes Cyrus a more complex character than he used to be. Cyrus only became noble in the aftermath of spending centuries in the bottle. Speaking of which...how did he end up in the bottle? Because all magic comes with a price.

I love when I'm right. As I predicted last week, Cyrus's mother is Amara, the lady who would later seduce Jafar into helping her find the bottles and tell him about the spell to break the laws of magic. Amara is rather young to have three grown boys, isn't she? That would be clue number one that something is amiss here. Once she is healed, the boys reveal how they came to heal her. At the mention of the the Well of Wonders and its Guardian, Amara seems to freak out a bit. She is distraught that her sons would go to the Well; in fact she begins to gather their belongings and shove them out the door! This is clue number two that something isn't right with Amara. Her concern is that somehow the Guardian will come for her sons and they must flee before she finds them.

Too late. A careless mistake in which some water from the Well spills on to the floor, making a portal for Nyx, leads the Guardian straight to Amara and her sons. And Nyx is not a happy lady! Amara begs Nyx not to hurt her children but Nyx pays no heed to Amara. Instead she tells Cyrus that because he tried to circumvent the fates, he and his brothers will pay a price. And his punishment? To become a genie trapped in a bottle, "you let your desire override fate. Now it will be your fate to serve the desires of others." Cyrus and his two brothers are poofed into the nearest bottle/urn/vase and zapped out of Agrabah to the far corners of the realms to await their new masters. So, what am I getting at with Amara? In mythology, Nyx has quite the large family, but one daughter in the "Theogoy" in highlighted along side Night: Day. And what's the Greek word for "day?" Hemera. Hemera  = Amara. I think Amara is the daughter of Nyx and she somehow left the Well of Wonders to live amongst the mortals but never aging. In the "Theogony" Day leaves the house just as night is coming in, they switch places. Well, I think one of the ultimate end games is for Amara to return to the house of her mother. Why? For that we need to move into present day Cyrus's story and what Nyx demands of him.

I'll Take What is Behind Door Number Two

In the present day, Cyrus, Alice, Ana, and Will are finally altogether and planning what to do next. Ana insists that they are no match for Jafar and his magics. They need an army but Ana knows she will have trouble convincing the people of Wonderland to follow her into battle because she was a wretched Queen. The two couples have different ideas about how to solve their problems. Cyrus points out that if they can release the genies from their prisons, then Jafar can't perform the spell to break the laws of magic but in order to do that he must go to the place where the Curse on his brothers began--the Well of Wonders. Ana provides a map to a shortcut to get to where Nyx resides in Wonderland and Cyrus and Alice set off.

It's not an easy journey for the two. Cyrus seems to be keeping a lot from Alice and it turns out he never told her how he ended up in the bottle. It's not something he likes to dwell on because he knows it was his fault. As the two walk along, they come to a point in the woods where two red doors and a Knight reside. The Knight gives them a riddle--one door will lead you to the Well, the other door will drown you. You must make a choice (if you were watching closely, though, the Knight kept indicating with his eyes which door was which). This bit went on a tad longer than it needed to and while Cyrus snapping at Alice was understandable and made them feel more real, but it was still hard to watch. Alice (being ever so clever) figures out that the Knight speaks only in lies when asked a direct question. So when Alice asks if Door A will take them to the Well and the Knight says yes, she knows to go through Door B. Nice job, Alice. It's also a nice callback to the actual book by Carrol where Alice did have to solve riddles while in Wonderland and in the Mirror Universe. Cyrus doesn't want Alice to come with him because it is something he must do on his own.

Cyrus summons the Guardian and begs Nyx for mercy. After centuries of serving others desires, he now knows that you can't cheat the fates. Sometimes, you have to play the hand you are dealt. Nyx, on the other hand, isn't having it. Oh sure, she'll release his brothers from their binds, but only if Cyrus returns the waters to the Well. Cyrus tells Nyx this is impossible because his mother is long dead. NOPE, says Nyx. Your mother lives and if you want your brothers freed, then return the waters. So going along with my theory above that Amara is the daughter of Nyx, I think the mother will sacrifice herself for her sons. For centuries she has been searching for them, in order to break their binds. If all she has to do is return to the Well, then I think she will. So the big question I have right now is: is there an actual spell to break the laws of magic? Or was it all a clever ruse to get Jafar to help Amara? Amara recognized in Jafar a little boy who would go to the ends of the earth and back to get the Sultan's love. I think Amara made a plan in her head the second she brought Jafar into the household to teach him magic, but held off on the big stuff; then once he was hungry enough for knowledge, she placed a feast in front of him: breaking the laws of magic by collecting three genie bottles. I don't think there is a spell to break the laws of magic; I believe Amara wanted Jafar to help her collect the bottles and then planned on double crossing him once her sons were free. So when Jafar goes to try the spell, nothing is going to happen.

Of course, Alice doesn't listen to Cyrus and follows him to the Well (good girl) where she over hears everything Cyrus has to say to Nyx. Cyrus is scared that his secrets--that he is responsible for all this--will drive Alice away. If Cyrus had listened in the first place and not stolen the waters, then he and his three brothers would not be cursed and Jafar would not be looking for three genies to break the laws of magic. Alice would not have gone through all the pain she went through if not for Cyrus and his arrogance. Alice is very understanding though and tells Cyrus that we cannot live in the past and that she has made mistakes too. This was a really tenderly beautiful moment between the two. Alice confesses that she gave up on Cyrus and their love and was ready to undergo the procedure to erase Wonderland and Cyrus from her memory. Cyrus is also worried that the bottle made him a better man and now that he's lost it, he'll revert and Alice gives one of my favorite lines from the show, "I'll be your bottle." Such a cute scene!

The Creepy Hour 

While Alice and Cyrus are off finding the Well of Wonders, Ana and Will go in search of help to take down Jafar when the time comes. Their first stop is the White Rabbit's (hi Bunny!!) Poor Bunny. He is so scared when Ana shows up at his door, as he should be. She did capture his wife and children after all. But Ana wants forgiveness--she seems really sorry for what she did. I must admit, Ana is growing on me with each passing episode. Ana wants the Rabbit to portal to each corner of the realm and convince the people to come to her aid--Wonderland is their home, they can't let Jafar over take it! But the Rabbit delivers some startling news: Jafar has released the (super creepy) Jabberwocky. Ana does not take this news well.

I'm not sure what Ana's history is with the Jabberwocky, but she seems incredibly horrified at the idea that the Jabberwocky might be coming for her. According to Ana, the Jabberwocky can smell your fear; she feeds on it. When it becomes apparent that the Jabberwocky is following the duo, Ana orders Will back into his bottle and then prepares to face the Jabberwocky. It's quite a creepy (creepy is the word of the day when it comes to Jabberwocky) battle, with the Jabberwocky appearing at random and taunting Ana. The Jabberwocky can taste Ana's fear and dread and she only adds to Ana's fear. At one point Ana tries to impale the Jabberwocky with a sword, but there is only one blade that can kill the Jabber: the Vorpal blade (and it was super...creepy...to watch the Jabberwocky pull herself off the sword. This actress is phenomenal. More of her, please). In the end, the Jabber gets the upper hand, knocks out Ana and takes the bottle.

What is with Jafar and cages? He has like a fetish for them or something. Will and Ana are placed inside a cage and left to the Jabber's devices. Jafar has a problem, you see. Ana is the master of the bottle so Jafar can't kill her or he'll never be in possession of Will. He can't kill Will because he's a genie and thus has no leverage over Ana. But Jafar always gets what he wants. The Jabberwocky uses a very interesting (horrifying) form of torture--mind torture. She can get inside your mind and pick out your secrets, reveal who you really are to those you love. I was very impressed with Ana, holding on as long as possible. It was only when Jafar started hurting Will that she broke and gave into the Jabber's demands, spending her three wishes in a matter of seconds. The Jabberwocky, at her cruelest, makes Ana wish for her crown, her jewels, and for the Jabber to stop the torture. And POOF! Will is back in his bottle and now Jafar is the master of all three genies. But will the spell work? That remains to be seen.

Miscellaneous Notes on Dirty Little Secrets

--Fantastic episode all around. I was impressed with the acting, the writing, and even the CGI which is often very wonky.

--"Jabber jabber jabber. All you people do is jabber." The Jabberwocky is just so terrifying. And when she cut out Liz's eyes, my stomach turned. That was really unexpected.

--What happens to Ana now? Will Jafar kill her or will Cyrus and Alice rescue her? I have a feeling she might die, but her name does mean Resurrection, so it's possible she won't stay dead for long.

--I won't spoil anything, but next week someone from the ONCEiverse is making an appearance. Someone we've wanted to see for a long time. I am really excited.

--Only three episodes left. Wonderland is getting better each episode. And while I'm sorry that Adam and Eddy aren't getting their second show renewed, the concise and intricate and *tight* storytelling of Wonderland is really refreshing.
 

In Which I Review Believe (1x1)

Welcome to the world of J. J. Abrams. Ok, I guess that's not strictly true. It's more like, welcome to the world of Alfonso Cuaron with J.J. Abrams sticking his name on the end as an executive producer in order to give more heft and pedigree to the project because an Academy Award winner wasn't good enough so let's bring in the guy who knows how to quickly launch a TV show. I guess their strategy worked given my opening sentence. Well played, NBC. At any rate, J.J. is probably the more well known of the two when it comes to TV. In the past 15 years or so J.J. has managed to launch, direct, write, and produce TV shows that even if you haven't seen them, you know of them, all with a varying degree of success. I call this the J. J. Phenomenon. This often seen television experience involves Mr. Abrams swooping down to some unsuspecting studio in Hollywood, dropping off what appears to be a really great idea (because there is no denying that he does have great ideas), getting the studio super excited about the idea of having a hit...and then leaving. Sometimes, he doesn't even need to come up with the idea, just show up at a meeting (maybe he bring the bagels), sign a piece of paper saying they can use his name so long as he is credited with Executive Producer before he jumps back on to his mega jet (I assume he has one) to go direct a movie or something. Examples, you ask? 

Felicity--creator, director, writer, and executive producer. Pretty successful, even if it will only be remembered for that one time Keri Russel chopped off all her hair and made the world weep. 

Alias--creator, director, writer and executive producer. Highly successful spy drama, until J.J got bored and left and things got strange (seriously, Vaughn wasn't Vaughn? No.) 

LOST--co-creator, director, writer and executive producer. One of the most successful and highly acclaimed TV shows in the past 10 years. J.J. left fairly early on, and I give almost no credit to him for its success--that was ALL Dameon and Carlton. 

Fringe--co-creator, director, writer, and executive produce. Had very little to do with the show after it got launched. A cult classic with little commercial success. 

Revolution--executive producer. Currently struggling to get to a third season. 

Why am I doing this? I am trying to show that just because a show has an awesome name backing it, doesn't mean it is worthy of your time. Just because the show carries the Abrams name doesn't mean it's actually good. And Believe? Is it going to fall victim to this same curse? 

 Is Believe anything new? I'm not so sure. It seems to be amalgam of Heroes (save the cheerleader, save the world), Fringe (a special girl with super powers), and the X-Men (baddies vs goodies, and from the upcoming promos, special children at a special school). It's not necessarily a bad thing as all three of those shows/comics are good in their own right. But the plot of Believe can be radically reduced to parts of each of those to make a whole. To simplify further: a young girl, who moves from foster parents to foster parents, named Bo has the typical "special" powers--ability to see bits of the future, to read people's emotions and thoughts, and apparently the ability to scream really loudly in order to have Kamikaze birds attack her enemies (I really don't know what that was about). I'll give the show credit for writing the girl as less annoying than she could be. Instead of being your typical scared, precious china-doll-esque special child, they made her very kid-like. She asks too many questions, she's nosy, and seems to enjoy being a pest. Bo also has a habit of wandering off so that will be fun. Bo seems to have control over her powers and has had them from a young age. The baddies who are after her have for a long time, given that her foster parents (who didn't make it past the first 10 minuets of the show) knew that people might come for her.

The "good guys" are also after her, trying to protect Bo because if the "baddies" get a hold of her, they can control the world. First, I kinda hate when TV does this whole "this one singular person is responsible for the safety of THE ENTIRE POPULATION." I mean, really? Being the Savior of a group of people (Emma Swan) is fine, but unless you're an alien from Gallifrey, you shouldn't be solely responsible for the well being of every living inhabitant on Earth. And as of right now, I don't get how Bo could possible control the world. Her powers are cool (I guess) but they're nothing to write home about. What's she going to do? Scream at the world until it does her bidding? And further, if there is anything constant in TV, it's that the good guys aren't all that good so I don't trust that Winter (head good guy) and Mulan Channing have Bo's best interests at heart. And for a shadowy heretofore unexplained good guy group, they seem both well funded and powerful (staged prison breakout) while at the same being unable to protect Bo for longer than 20 minuets. The plan? Give the kid with the super powers to a death row inmate.

Winter in disguise of a minister comes to give the last rights to Tate, a man with a ticking clock who insists that he is innocent of whatever crimes he was convicted of that led him to the Green Mile. The reason why Winter is breaking out Tate? Because he believes in him. Pretty shady reason if you ask me. "I believe that you did not commit these crimes that landed you seconds away from death and now I shall give you this little girl to protect. Oh by the way, she can control the world if she wanted." Even Tate isn't sure what to make of these declarations, though he'll take the escape route and the cash for protecting Bo. Tate seems to be mostly annoyed by Bo, though you can already tell that she'll win him over. Tate will come to care for the young wunderkind, care for her as his own, and that's when Winter will drop the big bomb on Tate: she's your daughter. Of course she is. Did they HAVE to be father/daughter? Wouldn't it be much more interesting and intriguing if Tate became a substitute parent who really came to care for Bo? And then you introduce her biological parents and the drama writes itself. They should have thought this one through more; the relationship could have been just as special without adding in the unneccesary biological family aspect.

The Pilot felt all over the place, but that's just very J.J. There were a lot of threads trying to come together over the course of an hour, but I'm not sure it was very successful. I think there were characters who will not be appearing ever again but were only introduced to let Bo show off her powers but it felt like these secondary characters (the Doctor for instance) were more developed than the main characters. For example, what do I know about Tate now? Not much. He was a death row inmate who says he's innocent but I can't get a feel on if he's a hero or just a guy who happened to be related to the superhero so he got wrapped into the plot. But the Doctor is a kind caring man who takes care of his dying father despite the obvious family drama in the past. His father probably didn't want him to become a doctor and remained belligerent and adamant that his son was failing him. He has daddy issues but puts his job and duty first. He has a kind soul which allows him to be open to finding love with Agnes at the end (as predicted by Bo). And I don't even know the Doctor's name, but I just gave a very brief psychological analysis of him. Mixed in with the goodies were the baddies who received marginal screen time. The head of the baddies and the head of the goodies have obvious history as they apparently still call each other to gloat over victories (Magneto and Xavier, anyone?). And each of them have a tough-as-nails henchman to do their bidding. The baddies henchman (I seriously have no idea what her name is) has an affinity for snapping necks and wielding guns inside a hospital but was taken down by birds.

So what's my final verdict? Well despite the more negative aspects I've been harping on, I'm giving it a very tentative check it out. A lot of the issues I've been discussing are also just "pilot" issues that get hammered out in subsequent episodes. Character development will come for Tate and Bo, I know. The mythology and world will be explored more and I'm sure we'll get answers. It just doesn't feel like anything new or exciting, but it's not so dull that I don't want to watch or at least try to watch. The show already has some internal behind the scenes drama with show runners coming and going which doesn't bode well, but it's possible that the vision of the show is becoming more concrete. However, if the second episode doesn't give me a bit more to work with or really draw me in, then I'm going to write it off.

In Which I Review Once Upon A Time (3x12)

"We're back." 
Yes, Snow White, we are! Three months is a terribly long time without this show. A small confession first; because of how active I am in this fandom, I know way more about these 11 episodes than your average viewer (though despite all that, the show still managed to surprise me this week with "New York City Serenade"). Because I knew so much going in, I was more or less dreading this episode. From all the media spin, it sounded like I wouldn't find this episode very appealing at all. But, as I shall remember henceforth, the media blitz is all hype to get money. Don't trust them, kids. This episode was phenomenal. It had something for everyone, which is what I loved most--if you're a SwanFire, a CaptainSwaner, a Rumbeller, if you love Snow White and Regina or if you love a strong fierce Emma Swan, you got it in this week's episode. If the theme for the first half of the season was belief, then the theme for this second half is "home." Each of these characters are searching out for their home--be it a fortified castle, a quiet spot in the woods, a ship, or an apartment in the heart of the city. When we last left, the fairy tale characters were being sucked back to the Enchanted Forest away from Storybrooke while Emma and her son Henry drove off to their new life, ignorant of everything that happened in the first 2.5 seasons. They started a life in New York City, a good quiet life, before a certain one-handed pirate showed up on Emma's door stoop claiming that her parents were in danger. 

Back Where We Belong 

Did you catch all the callbacks to the pilot in this episode? It began with Philip riding down a road (a la Prince Charming) where his wife, Aurora, waited, though not in a glass coffin, but with a nice little picnic. But instead of a nice holiday with the wife, a dark purple cloud OF DOOM descended upon them. And lo' all our characters magically (pun!) appeared back in the Enchanted Forest, dressed in their Fairy Tale Land clothing. There were a few problematic continuity issues, though they didn't bother me as much as I thought they would. Snow, Regina, Belle, and Neal are not in their clothing from when the original Curse hit, but I can excuse most of that. Snow and Charming waste no time getting caught up with Philip and Aurora. Turns out the ogres were defeated? Good to know. This is nit picky of me, but that was a potential storyline that never developed and it bugs me. That would have been a very cool plot line for season 4--retake the Enchanted Forest from the Ogres and make a new life.

But home isn't all it's cracked up to be. Almost no one is excited to be back (except the dwarves who are ecstatic to be handsome again). There are too many memories and too much left behind in Storybrooke to be happy about being home. Surprisingly, Aurora and Philip aren't thrilled to see them either. The interaction between the two sets of royal families give the appearance of kindness, but there is a seedy underbelly waiting to poke through. As the Prince and Princess send our heroes on their way, Aurora remarks that they have to tell "her" about this return and it's not their job to save Snow and Charming. What has happened in the Enchanted Forest since everyone left? Who has moved in? And why wouldn't Aurora tell her friends? Is her unborn babe in danger from this new threat? That remains to be seen.

What coming home has done is create some forced unity between characters who typically loathe each other. When it is suggested that the heroes head off to Regina's castle, there is some scuffle about to whom that castle really belongs. It belonged to Leo, Snow's father, whom Regina married and then took by right on conquest, but in a absolutely beautiful turn of events, Snow tells Regina, "we're going to take it back. And you're coming with us." It's time to move forward. They can't keep going over the same history; this is a time to come back together. A curse took them to Storybrooke and a curse brought them back. Now Regina has lost her child, Snow has lost hers for the second time, and it's time to end this feud. They're a family and it's time they started acting like one. And good for Snow for not giving up on Regina, for insisting that she come with them. Like it or not, they are together in this.

This moment between Snow and Regina was brought up again a little bit later when Regina decided to separate herself for a very heart wrenching (pun!) reason. Loosing Henry, knowing that he doesn't even remember her, is too much for the Evil Queen. That hole in her heart that Henry filled is empty once more. So in a drastic moment, Regina decides to remove her own heart and bury it. Snow caught Regina in the act and the two had a very beautiful conversation about loosing their children and how it's important to not take the easy path out. Regina has to feel her pain; she has to learn to live without Henry because that's her sacrifice and taking an easy path past that pain is not allowed anymore. Snow understands this more than anyone. This is the second time she's lost her daughter to a curse. I am really excited to see these two lean on each other--deep down, I think they really love each other. Before there was the feud, there was a budding friendship between Young Regina and Snow.

And then they were attacked by flying monkeys. But we'll get back to that in a second.

Speaking of easy paths and trying to hide the pain away, let's talk about Hook and Neal. Studies in contrast, no? Hook wants nothing (and I do mean nothing) with this plan to trek to Regina's castle. This isn't his home. This is some forest that means nothing to him. His home is the Jolly Roger and he intends to find it. Emma is gone but instead of making a plan to go after her, he decides to find his real home, his ship. Now, if you think about Captain Hook's character, this makes a lot of sense. Of course his home is the ship! He's a pirate. And as he says to Snow, "I've always been a pirate." This doesn't mean that Hook, as a pirate, can't be a hero or perform heroic actions, but that at his core he is what he is--a scallywag, a rapscallion, a pirate. He has no intent to go after Emma, to try and get back to her. She's gone and that's horrible and he's very distraught but what's the use of fighting? And so, taking a horse and some supplies, Hook rides off into the great unknown and the rest of his story will be filled in as we go along I imagine, because somehow he got to NYC.

Let's get one thing straight: I love Neal. I love Neal a lot. Like, a crazy amount. Rumple may be my favorite, but Neal is a very close second. Neal is (to quote the actor Michael Raymond-James) "super not cool" with this new life. He wants out, right now. He wants to go to Rumple's castle, see if his father is alive (because he doesn't believe that he is really dead) and get back to Emma and Henry post haste. They are his home, where he feels he belongs, with the woman he considers his true love and his son. Home isn't the Enchanted Forest, it's wherever Emma and Henry are. And Neal is determined. He's lost them before, he has been down this path not so long ago and he is not about to go down it again. He won't sit idly by and accept this fate. He is going to get back to them, "this isn't over. I'll see both of you again." (Look, I have a lot of Neal feelings, okay?) Now all of this is coming on the heels of Charming and Snow telling Neal that it is impossible to get back to Emma and Henry; those two have a new life and they need to live it. Let them try to be happy and we, here in the forest, must try to move on. What's next for Neal? Well that's hard to say. Belle also thinks that Rumple is alive and that "we can get him back." Will Neal go off on an adventure with Belle? Will finding Rumple then lead to Neal trying to get to Emma? We shall see.

So speaking of thieves with hearts of gold, remember Robin Hood? Yeah he's back. Like I mentioned above, Snow and Regina were attacked by a flying monkey. Before Robin scared it off with an arrow, it managed to take some of Regina's blood (important!). But this is the first official meeting of Robin and Regina. Oh man, I am exited for OutlawQueen. I never thought I'd be excited for anything involving Regina but given their first interaction, I'd say this ship is going to sail itself. So sassy!! Robin knows of Regina and I think he's already at least intrigued by her. And she of him, even if he does "smell of forest."

And finally at long last, they arrive at Regina's former castle and find--it occupied? So let's see. We've got flying monkeys, a "her" and curses. Who could be living in Regina's castle?
Why hello there Wicked Witch from Oz! What could she want? Why is she living in Regina's castle? Why does she want Regina's blood? All good questions. Theory time! The Wicked Witch is Regina's half sister, born of Cora and the Wizard. She was swept away to Oz as a baby, long before Regina was ever born. Later in life, the Evil Queen and the Wicked Witch met, Regina being unaware of who the Witch was but with the Witch knowing, and Regina causes the Witch to turn that lovely shade of green. The Wicked Witch is envious of Regina and all that Regina had--namely Cora's love. Her plan is one of envy (being green with jealousy) and she wants to take everything away from Regina. Look out folks, it's Wicked vs Evil and "wicked always wins."

New York State of Mind

Emma Swan is not the Emma Swan we once knew. She is ever so subtly different--a red pea coat replaces her red leather jacket, plaid mommy pants replace her skinny jeans, cute blouses replace functional sweaters. Our Emma Swan is now a full time mother and that comes first. Emma has a great life and a new guy! Meet Walsh, a furniture salesman with a cute smile who helps Henry with his science projects. He seems like a nice guy, actually, which sorta makes me hate him. I don't want to like him. Thankfully by the end of the episode, I will have sufficient reason to no like him at all. The two are having a nice dinner out when who should appear? Emma's own stalker (her words, not mine!)

Hook obviously sounds like a lunatic. "Your family is in danger!!" What family? Emma is an orphan, she's never had a family until Henry. Hook realizes that he can't persuade her with words, so it must come another way--an address in the city that will prove to Emma that she has a life she has forgotten about. Does Emma want to go? Hook tells her to use her superpower to see if he is lying but in a nice call back to the pilot, "just because you believe it to be so, doesn't mean it's real." Hook tells her one final time to go and that if she does, he'll be waiting for her in Central Park. Walsh slips back to dinner and suddenly, a ring! Yes Walsh wants to marry our Ms Swan which horrifies poor Emma and ends up leaving (I'm sure leaving one of those cartoon-y clouds of dust in her wake). Emma still has commitment issues; her abandonment issues haven't resolved themselves magically. What Neal did to her still hurts--but she's able to talk about it now. Henry isn't living in the dark, which is nice to know. As much as I love Neal, I know he hurt Emma. And that's what I want them to work through. You can't sweep it under the rug, that's the easy path and Savior's don't take easy paths. Their roads are long and hard for a reason.

Emma is still curious, though. She decides to go to the address Hook provided and turns out, the apartment is super familiar. It's Neal apartment, last seen in "Manhattan" in season two. There are quite a few familiar items there that should spark a feeling of familiarity to the audience--the dreamcatcher, the bloody rag that was used to dress Rumple's wounds after Hook stabbed him, and finally Henry's camera with his name on it. It is this final item that freaks out Emma. How does Neal have a camera with her son's name on it? How is that possible? Is Neal trying to get back into her life? Into Henry's? Fearing for her son, Emma goes to Central Park to hear Hook out.

I'm not exactly a Hook fan but I did appreciate how kind he was being. He was genuinely trying to get Emma to remember. Her family is in danger and he knows she is the only hope. But with Emma, it's very difficult because her walls will always be up. Hook tells her to take a leap of faith and drink the magic blue potion he has with him (who knows from where?) But Emma still can't take that leap of faith--it's not enough. She can't open herself up enough to trust Hook, and in a moment paralleling "Tallahassee", Emma pulls out some handcuffs (kinky) and chains Hook to a bike rack and then promptly has him arrested. What would it take for Emma to believe? Not Hook, not even some of Neal's things though at least that made her open up a bit. With Emma, it's always going to be Henry. Remember that Emma still has the camera she found in Neal's apartment--well there are photos on there. Photos of her life with Henry in Storybrooke, of taking a trip to Manhattan with him to find Neal. Evidence of another life that she can't remember.

And with that much evidence, now Emma must open herself up a bit more. Neal might lie to her, Hook might lie to her, but Henry...Henry would never lie to her. Emma bails Hook out of jail (where they force fed him bologna) and finally Emma is ready to drink the potion. Her instincts and the evidence from her son are there. Time to take that leap of faith. Just like in season one, there are memory flashes--Henry showing up at Emma's door, fighting the dragon, meeting Snow for the first time as her mother, finding Neal again, loosing Neal down the portal, and finding Neal in the cave (gosh that's a lot of Neal), and then finally the Curse that took her family away from her again. And there she is, ladies and gentlemen, our Emma Swan is back. The Savior has returned.

Time for Hook to fill in a few missing gaps, though there are still a lot more questions to be had. Hook tells Emma he left her family because Snow and Regina put aside their differences and he was bored ("I see you haven't changed") and then quickly covers up with, "there was nothing for me in the Enchanted Forest." Smooth, Hook. He sees that what he is saying isn't appealing to Emma, so time to change tactics. Brief ship moment here but this episode really solidified for me that Emma and Hook can never make it work. Emma Swan rejects her archetype, she doesn't want to be the Savior, she just wants to be Emma. She wants to be a mother and have a quiet life. But Hook is his archetype--"I've always been a pirate." Even after his brother Liam died and he had a chance to become something new, Hook just moved to a darker version of his archetype. From a sailor to a pirate. Hook needs his ship and adventure, he lives for it. So when the chance came to go on some sort of adventure, he jumped at it. Emma was just the pot of gold at the end. Apparently after Hook left the Charmings, he received a message that there was a new Curse that was going to take everyone back to Storybrooke and that Emma was the only hope. That's when he decided to go after her. Who sent him the message? Rumple? the Witch? Someone we haven't met? My first thought is Rumple but I don't know why he would send it to Hook of all people. More questions that will hopefully be answered.

Before Emma can don her red leather coat and once again go save the day, she must first deal with her boyfriend Walsh. So Emma goes to break this poor guys heart--but it's totally okay. Why? BECAUSE HE IS A MONKEY. I'm not kidding. Walsh is flying monkey sent to keep Emma in NYC and away from Storybrooke. Is it jumping the shark? Probably. But it's so hilarious and weird that I'm okay with it (MonkeySwan!). Emma makes quick work of the monkey, though I doubt it's the last we'll see of him. And now there is nothing left but to go home. I love how Emma put on her red leather coat before they left. That coat is her cape, her protection. It is her coat of power. Now she's our Emma Swan. Wicked Witch beware! She's coming for you.

I didn't expect to get a reunion in this episode but was pleasantly surprised. So here is how this new curse is different from the original--everyone remembers who they are. David knows he is Prince Charming and Snow knows she is Snow White. What they don't remember is the last year in the Enchanted Forest. They have no idea what happened to them. I won't lie. This annoys me. It takes all that character development that is going to happen in the lost year and sweep it away--Regina and Snow, gone. Belle and Neal, gone. I really hope the writers don't put us back at square one for long. I want these characters to move forward. Because they remember nothing, Snow has no idea when she became pregnant, and they don't know when they got back. So many questions and 10 episodes to go.

Miscellaneous Notes on New York City Serenade

--Some good one liners.
"You are a stalker!!"
"Here I thought you'd gone and changed." "I tried the hero thing. It didn't take."
"I don't run from monsters. They run from me."
"Drink the thing the crazy man just offered me? No thanks."
"He smells of forest"

--When will Henry get his memories back? If they are reverse paralleling the first season, then it will probably be 322.

--The Belle/Neal stuff was short but perfect. "You'll see them again, Henry and Emma..."

-- The season so far is off to a great start. We'll see more of the lost year in the Enchanted Forest as well as watching Emma take down the Wicked Witch. Or will it be Regina who takes her down? Is Regina the new Savior? Should be fun!

--I'm looking forward to Oz but I hope the stick more closely to the original text, unlike what they did with Peter Pan and Neverland.