In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (1x5)

I debated not doing a blog for this episode. "The Girl in the Flower Dress" was a bit long and drawn out and frankly played on themes already replete in the season so far: trust, loyalty, can Skye really work for SHIELD, and Coulson's trust in people to do the right thing (whatever that means). At some point the writers need to understand that I get it: Skye has torn loyalties between her liberal ideology regarding freedom of information and the fact that SHIELD is the first place that has felt like home to the computer hacking orphan. We saw this two weeks ago in "The Asset" and we saw it in the premiere pilot episode. However, once I realized that this was a mythology based episode, I knew I had to blog it. What exactly is a mythology based episode? In other words, non-filler. It is not "moral of the week" (though this show seems determined to trot out a moral agenda by varying degrees every week) and while it is another "superhero of the week" episode, it returns the audience to what was established in the pilot, namely Centipede. Quick refresher since it had been a few episodes. Centipede is an incredibly well funded, super secret, high tech, scientific organization that has been turning people into superheros. They have developed a serum that has the nasty side effect of making people into living bombs. The serum for some reason causes them to burn from the inside out. We have no idea who is behind Centipede but their ultimate end game seems to be making "little toy soliders" to do with as they please. 

One of the reoccurring themes this episode was the idea of illusions: things are not what they appear to be. A street performer has superhero powers that he might use for cheap tricks. A girl in a pretty flower dress is secretly working for a covert organization that wants to take your power. A reformed computer hacker may not be that reformed. A ideologue might be willing to compromise his integrity for the right price.  "Girl in the Flower Dress" was all about stripping (maybe burning would be a better word) the layers to reveal the truth.

Our story opens in Hong Kong where a street performer is having a rather lackluster performance. Everyone is polite but from the looks of his empty coffers, they aren't overly impressed. Sensing that he isn't about to make much money tonight, the street performer pulls out a show stopping number in which he appears to throw fire balls into the crowd, while a pretty girl in a flower dress looks on approvingly. Raina, our titular girl in the flower dress, would very much like to see the street performer, Chan, do his magic again. He hesitates and in the intervening moments takes the time to give us his story. The ability to make fire in his palms started a few years ago but the truly remarkable thing is that he feels no pain when he conjures the fire. And then men in flame retardant suits kidnap him. Like ya do.

Chan is taken to a secret lab where he is offered the chance to be a superstar! No more Mr. Ignoble, but instead Scorch, the newest superhero up there with the likes of Captain America (because his next movie is coming out really soon and hello free advertising!) It's an offer that is hard to refuse and the idea gets played on a few times during the episode. Raina states that "everyone wants to be remembered" (this is especially true when you have some sort of super human ability or power. I'm looking at you Mr. Achilles) and later Coulson laments "ah crap. They gave him a name," when Chan refuses to stand down, suggesting that Coulson understands that taking on a superhero name changes that person's character, makes them something different. Hal Jordan is just a guy, but give him a ring and a name and he's a different person. Clark Kent is a nerdy farm boy, but call him Superman and the Kent persona is almost washed away.

So what does Centipede want with Chan--I'm sorry. Scorch. Chan's unique ability isn't that he can throw fireballs; it's that he can do it without feeling any kind of pain. His blood platelets are essentially fire resistant. He can burn from the inside out and not be destroyed by it. Sound familiar? It should because it's Centipede's biggest problem in making their own superhero army. The plan? Remove Chan's platelets, essentially stripping him of his ability to create fire pain free (but he can still create fire) and then leave him neither super nor a hero.

Meanwhile, back on the plane (Side note: why are they always on the plane? Do they not have a base somewhere? Do they just randomly fly through the sky until they are told of a mission? I know the plane is impressive but wouldn't this wear on the body after awhile?) Skye and Ward continue to grow closer as mentor and protege. And I continue to be bored by both of them. Ward had potential in the pilot but he's severely lacking in charisma and charm. The team is told of the mission and the first big question they must answer is how Centipede found Chan, who was being kept under surveillance by SHIELD agents. Skye quickly puts her skills to use and discovers it was a fellow Rising Tide hacker named Miles. With whom she is rather...close. Cue the sexy time music. To demonstrate her divided loyalties, Skye alerts Miles to SHIELD and then proceeds to spend the afternoon with him discussing how SHIELD is really not the belly of the beast, how they are good people. This is interrupted when the team walks in on Skye and Miles post hay roll and her duplicitous nature is now out in the open. Skye then spends the rest of the episode trying to prove that she is loyal to SHIELD and has forsaken the Rising Tide. Of course there is more to this story, but we'll get to that.

Chan, having been stripped of his blood platelets, goes slightly Hulk like and decides to SMASH and BURN everything, including the Doctor we met in the pilot episode. Turns out she's not all that important but the Girl in the Flower Dress is. Hence, the title. The SHIELD team do manage to minimize the damage though they cannot save Chan. But now SHIELD knows that Centipede has the ability to inject the serum without causing their subjects to explode.

And then it's a Coulson/Skye showdown. Skye has one chance to explain her actions or she's done. Let's take a step back: during her afternoon delight party with Miles we saw that Skye keeps a very tiny microchip in her bra. She hands this over to Coulson and reveals that it contains all the information she has on her parents, missing or dead she's not sure. But their entire lives were wiped away clean, except for one document that was classified by SHIELD. She wants SHIELD's help to find her parents or at least what happened to them. And because sad orphans are sad, she is marginally forgiven.

And then there is some extra scene where the Girl in the Flower Dress is talking to a prisoner who tells her to move on to stage two by using "The Clairvoyant." Cue the dramatic music.

Miscellaneous Notes from Girl in the Flower Dress.

--Loved that after a rapid Chinese exchange between May and Chan, Coulson's only response is "So we're good right?"

--Place your bets on Skye's parents. Alive or dead (mother alive, father dead) and the chances that they are working for Centipede (high).

--May got to fight a little but she's still really under utilized though I did appreciate that they let Ming-Na use her native tongue in this episode.

--Do the science brainy duo do anything? And which one is which? It's a statement of how your show is going if I can't distinguish between people and don't care enough to look them up. 

--No SHIELD for another two weeks. When we come back, I suspect we'll see the return of Dr. Hill as our new villain and the hunt for Skye's parents gets under way. 

In Which I Review Once Upon A Time (3x4)

Habit (n): an action done on a regular basis, usually without awareness. A habit, from the standpoint of psychology, is a more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience

Many of the characters on Once Upon a Time have habits that they fall upon when pressed. Rumple has the habit of using his power to bolster is own self interest and proving that he is not a coward. Regina has the habit of using magic to take the easy way out. Emma and Neal both have the habit of running before becoming too emotionally invested. Snow and Charming have the habit of making moralistic declarations of their goodness in the face of adversity. The point is, none of our characters are perfect and they all have some nasty habit that needs to be broken. This week's episode, "Nasty Habits" really focuses on how fathers and sons (and possibly brothers) share those habits and what it takes to break the abusive cycle. 

Home Is Where the Coconut Is

In our B-plot for the week, Tinkerbell makes what is perhaps the best observation of the series so far: how in the name of sanity do you expect to get home? You want to rescue Henry, that's great. Now how are you gonna get off Peter Pan's magical mystery island of mismatched toys? Until they come up with a solid plan for leaving Neverland, Tink ain't got time for this. Only two people have ever left Neverland before: Hook and Baelfire. The former we learn made a deal with Peter (side note: WHAT. What deal? Tell me!); the latter--everyone thinks--managed to escape by his wits and cunning and without Pan's permission. If Nealfire did it once, then surely the intrepid Jolly Roger Five can do it again! To the Baelfire Cave!

Bae's cave is both illuminating and depressing. After being sold given to the Lost Boys, Bae made a life for himself by being resilient--he made his own bowls and utensils. And he spent a lot of time drawing pictures of the lives he left behind, both of the Enchanted Forest and of London with the Darlings, the first place he ever felt like he could call home since Rumple became the Dark One. There are images of portals and Rumple's hand as it opens and lets Bae fall away into the swirling vortex of terror. Baelfire has also drawn the Darling family, their house in London, and even Big Ben with two stars echoing the classic line "second star to the right and straight on 'till morning." One thing before we talk about the coconut and the starry map. I am dying to know how long Hook and Bae were together on the Jolly Roger. After the events of 222, "And Straight On Till Morning" it seemed like the safest guess was about a month. But the more this season continues the more convinced I become that it had to be more than that. Hook knows about Bae's drawing ability (which he got from Milah. Come on Emma, put these pieces together); he knows all about Bae's secret cave of wonders; and most importantly, Hook and Bae were together long enough that Bae became quite the adequate little pirate, navigating by the stars and making coded maps. At this point in time, it's wild speculation but I think I am going to say that Hook and Bae were together, as a family, for at least six months. Hook is so broken up over Baelfire, almost like Rumple, as if he too is mourning his son. It's not even that he is mourning his last tangible connection to Milah, but he is mourning his actual child.

On to the coconut. How clever is little Bae? Kids got mad skills. As of this morning, there is a lot of debate over what the star map showed but at the moment it seems like it it showed the Phoenix constellation. Which makes all my SwanFire feelings exploded in a river of angst. Personally, I have a bit of history with the mythological bird (it played a very integral role in my Master's Thesis) but on a ONCE level, this bird shows up everywhere. Here are some for instances: it was a place of rebirth for Emma and Neal as well as being the birthplace of Henry (the second in Regina’s family to bear that name), who would be the key to the rebirth of Regina. But the map is in code and no one can read it except Nealfire. Who everyone believes is dead.

This inner turmoil causes yet another heartbreaking moment from Emma (Jennifer Morrison is really hitting all the right notes this season). On the one hand, she has never stopped loving Neal but on the other hand he really hurt her. He made her feel unloved and unwanted, the two worst possible feelings for someone with the level of abandonment issues as Emma has. She is beyond angry at Neal not only for dying when she needed him the most but for waiting until he was at death's door to tell her that he has loved her all along. The way back to SwanFire is going to be long but after last night I have faith in these two. Come hell or pirate kisses.Whenever Nealfire finds his way back to the group, Emma is going to be both overjoyed that the man she has never stopped loving is alive, and angry as Hell over the past. But Neverland is where your past catches up with you and you have reevlauate who you are. Emma has a totally myopic tunnel vision her own history. She doesn't know about the level of manipulation on Peter's part to ensure that she was always lonely and friendless and without a home. She, possibly more than anyone, has been played her whole life. Once Emma and Neal begin to put the pieces together, she will see that Neal had no choice in leaving. The lives of thousands depended on her. It's going to be a bumpy ride however. Hold on, SwanFire fans.

#TeamBrothers

"I wish now to go back to mother for ever and always,” they had to tickle his shoulder and let him go.
He went in a hurry in the end because he had dreamt that his mother was crying, and he knew what was the great thing she cried for, and that a hug from her splendid Peter would quickly make her to smile. Oh, he felt sure of it, and so eager was he to be nestling in her arms that this time he flew straight to the window, which was always to be open for him.
But the window was closed, and there were iron bars on it, and peering inside he saw his mother sleeping peacefully with her arm round another little boy."
J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan and Wendy 

Over the summer, at our OncePodcast forums, we began predicting that Rumple and Peter Pan were brothers based on the original text in which Peter goes home to his mother only to discover the window is closed (the worst thing in the Peter Pan-verse) and his mother has a new son and has forgotten Peter. This is what causes Peter to flee to Neverland so that he'll never have to grow up. In this weeks episode we finally got to see some Peter Pan and Rumple interaction. It was worth the wait. Rumple is newly crowned as the Dark One and is having quite a bit of fun using his new found power to prove his worth, however, in doing this he forces Bae to stay home for protection. Bae is restless and wants a life, apart from being the Dark One's son. One night, while Rumple is away doing goodness knows what, Bae hears the call of magic music and follows the sound. The pipes are produced by a skilled Piper who lures children away who feel unloved and unwanted.  Rumple goes in search of his son only to discover the Bacchic-esque hedonistic display of young boys dancing around a fire. Peter has been luring boys to his side because Neverland is lonely and he wants friends, except that friends here really means minions to do his bidding. There is a reoccurring theme of game play with Peter. Every episode he's made some sort of reference to "playing" "games" the "board." All of this is one giant game to him. He is a very petulant (and dangerous) little boy, used to getting his way.

I have no idea how long Peter has been in Neverland but it has been awhile. Did you notice Rumple's face when he revealed the piper to be Pan? It was horror. Horror and shock and torture and surprise, as if all his childhood trauma's were coming back to bite him. Rumple looked like a wounded little boy who was just confronted with his worst nightmare. So based on last night's episode, what do we know for sure about Rumple and Peter Pan? We know they knew each other as kids. Rumple not only tells Baelfire this, but Peter also jokes about how Rumple has "grown up" and become the Dark One implying that they knew each other at a younger age. Not only did they grow up together, but they were once very close but at some point Peter did something that Rumple feels betrayed by. What could that possibly be? Well I think for this answer, we need to discuss the psychology of Rumple a bit. For Rumple, the greatest betrayal is someone leaving. According to Pan, "being left is what you're good at." Rumple's father left, something happened to his mother, Milah left and soon (very soon) Bae will want to leave, Cora will leave him standing in a field holding her own heart in her hands. The only person who has ever come back for him--EVER in 300 years--was Belle. Rumple equates leaving with not being loved (which is totally normal when people have these abandonment issues). If you leave it means you don't love me and that must be my fault. So the betrayal that Rumple feels when it comes to Peter must be along the same lines. What's my theory? So glad you asked.

Peter is the elder brother. He was born in to a mostly loving family and had a good life. Then his mother got pregnant a second time. This pregnancy did not go well and she died in childbirth. The baby survived and was "gifted" with the name of Rumplestiltskin. The death of his wife but the survival of his second child turned the father into a violent and cruel man who emotionally and psychically abused his children. Rumple got the lion share of the abuse and Peter would often step in to help his younger brother. At some point, Peter began to formulate a plan to run away, promising to take Young Rumple with him. But something went wrong, with Peter at least. He found is way to Neverland but fundamentally changed (my newest theory is that the Shadow is NOT Peter's but is controlling Peter and turned him dark). Peter never came back for Rumple leaving him at the mercy of their father. Eventually, Rumple and Peter's father ran away because of his cowardice and fear, leaving Rumple forever alone with spinsters. Rumple continued to grow up emotionally scared, having been left so often, and Peter grew up much slower and continually got darker and more manipulative. We shall see how it plays out.

Papa Don't Preach

 The reunion between Rumple and Nealfire was heart wrenching. Rumple refuses to believe that it's Bae for sometime, thinking it another illusion to trick him into not following through on his mission. For Rumple, there are two options: either Bae is dead and he is justified in dying for Henry to honor his son OR Bae is alive and Rumple has to seriously think about the right course of action. He can kill Henry and live but loose his happy ending with Bae OR he can let Henry live, sacrifice his life in the process and die. Either way, my Rumple looses. Nealfire lived in Neverland for a very long time and knows a few tricks they can use to defeat Peter and his band of creepers (side note: I cheered SO LOUDLY when my Nealfire hit Felix). Neal's goal is Henry, as it should be. This is his child and he is willing to do what it takes for save him from having his heart ripped out. I think in the end, this will bond Neal and Rumple. Or at least cause an understanding between them. Rumple spent 300 years searching for his son, going down many paths. Neal is going to do the same. The things parents do for their children. Oh look, a theme in ONCE! However this is one major difference between the two: Rumple will kill if he has to. Nealfire will not. Neal has always been a more honorable version Rumple, maybe morally gray at times but always with a clear ethical line. While Rumple is willing to do whatever it takes to prove himself a good man and die for Henry, Neal will not cross into the dark territory. Atta boy, Nealfire.

The plan is rather simple: get Henry and then work on a way to get out of Neverland. In other words, like The Jolly Roger Five, they have no idea how to get off Neverland. After a brief stop over at the home of a rather large squid (whom we have dubbed Leggy) PapaStiltskin and son have magic squid ink to render Peter Pan immobile. They then go after the Lost Boys. But of course, getting Henry isn't going to be that easy. They may have immobilized Peter but that doesn't stop the wicked little boy from revealing to Neal that there is a prophecy in place in which Rumple has a vested interest.

And finally after speculating all summer if Rumple would tell anyone, he lays it all out in front of Nealfire. Henry is Rumple's undoing but he was willing to die for Henry after Bae died. But of course, Nealfire goes into protective Papa mode and all he hears is that his dear old dad, who has a very NASTY HABIT of killing people casually, is after his son. It is a heartbreaking moment as Neal struggles between his past with his father and knowing what kind of man he is and his future as a father in his own right, who will protect his child at all costs. And because Rumple never chose him, he will not choose Rumple this time. Neal immobolizes his father, takes his son and declares "we're safer without you," and vanishes into the jungle. Of course, this does come back to bite him. Peter and his gang of miscreants find them and take back Henry but also capture Nealfire. Neal's final shouts of his love for his son and declaring that he WILL find him again killed me. And Henry, thinking that his family really may not come for him, hears the music of Peter's pipes and joins in the Lost Boy revelry.

Miscellaneous Notes on Nasty Habits 

--This episode was full of fantastic quotes:
"I'm not a boy anymore Felix and I'm sure as hell not lost."--Nealfire
"You're my happy ending"--Rumple
"I would have chosen you."--Baelfire
"I'm plenty hot!"--Charming
"Cause I'm sure pre teen Baelfire made lots of pasta."--Regina
"Am I supposed to be impressed that he made a night light?--Regina
"I knew the moment I saw him that I never stopped loving him."--Emma

--Rumple gone native with war paint. Is it ok that I found it hot?

--I can't talk about the Rumbelle stuff yet. It really hurts. Rumple is only going to get worse before he gets better and I think the next few episodes will have the Darker One Rumple do some very questionable things. I hope Real Belle gets to Neverland soon. He needs to see that someone will always choose him and stay with him because right now he is literally shutting out his conscience and moral center, which has always been represented by Belle.

--Snow and Charming unable to be parents is very sad. All Snow wants to do is be a mother but she has no idea how to be a mother to this little girl who is so very hurt.

--CaptainCharming bromance is getting some momentum. I really need Hook to tell Snow and Emma about Charming. I think it would be a step in the right direction. 

--I say this every week but Peter Pan is so creepy. And Robbie Kay, who plays him, keeps nailing it every week. He went toe to toe with Bobby Carlyle this week and was amazing. That takes SKILL.

--Hands down best episode of the season, at least for me.

In Which I Review Once Upon A Time in Wonderland (1x2)

The real basis of trust is faith. But the problem with faith is that you can never be one hundred percent sure that your faith isn't being misplaced. What do you put your faith and trust in? True love? Friendship? Family? Magic? And when evidence is telling you that your faith and trust are wrong, what then? In this weeks episode, "Trust Me," Alice struggles with her faith in Cyrus and everyone begins to doubt each other. 

There was a lot going on this week--Agrabah of the past, Wonderland of the past, Wonderland of the present with Alice and Knave, Wonderland of the present with the Red Queen and Jafar, and Wonderland of the present with Cyrus. Honestly it was a bit overwhelming. I understand that OUATinWL is supposed to be an open and shut book with 13 episodes telling a whole story but there is so much going on that it doesn't feel like they are taking time to build anything properly. Cyrus and Alice are cute together but so far their interactions haven't given me the happy shipper heart that I've come to expect from ONCE. Actually, I really like Alice and the Knave at the moment, even though I'm not supposed to be shipping them. Streamlining is hard when you've literally opened the door to having any possible fairy tale or classic story at your disposal. I really like Jafar as a character but it's hard to fit him into the story right now because everything is supposed to be heavily focused on Wonderland. It makes reviewing difficult because I'm trying to pick up themes and motifs but the plot is getting in the way.

I think the first thing we need to establish are the laws of magic. According to our genie, Cyrus, there are four: cannot kill anyone; can't bring back the dead; can't change the past and can't make anyone fall in love. Jafar wants to change the rules of magic and believes he can do this with Cyrus. In the Disney version of Aladdin, the blue genie also gives a similar speech about the rules of his wishes, with the exception of the third. Because the writers deliberately stuck in the third rule concerning the past, I would contend that it is probably the rule we need to be the most concerned about. For some reason, Jafar wants to change the past. Given that most often our villains motivations are both self serving and poignant, I suspect Jafar has what he considers to be a good reason. Does he want to prevent someone from dying? We know there are consequences to trying to resurrect someone from the dead--it basically turns them into Frankenstein's monster. If Jafar wanted to avoid this, the best option would be to prevent them from dying. Also, I suspect it is someone from when he was much younger. The show opened in Agrabah many years ago and Jafar was already on his mission. Jafar has probably been obsessed with this mission and collecting power for himself for a very long time.

So what is his relationship with the Red Queen--who, I'm sad to say, isn't improving in the second week. She and Jafar have a relationship that is laced with sexual overtones but ones that are dangerous and violent. The Red Queen has no interest in hearing the complaints of her subjects, in fact she is out right bored with them. She shows no signs of regret or sadness when Jafar turns several of her people to ash; yet she declares that she "took" Wonderland (from Cora, the Queen of Hearts I suspect) and Jafar points out that her only flaw is that she wants to earn her people's respect, not just take it. However, the Red Queen does have a cunning streak to her--which is to be expected, she is a chess piece in the original book. She outsmarts Jafar by using the White Rabbit (poor sad bunny) and now has an equal share in the overall scheme by possessing the bottle.

Meanwhile Alice has formulated a plan to rescue Cyrus. It's a two part plan: find Cyrus's bottle and then make three very simple and easy wishes. Once Alice makes her wishes, Cyrus returns to his bottle and the Knave can summon him again and wish them together. When the Knave says "doesn't this mean that Cyrus would be my genie?" Alice replies, "Guess I'll just have to trust you." They then set out to find the bottle which Alice says is under the Tum Tum Tree. The interaction between the Knave and Alice is really the highlight of the show.

The romance between Cyrus and Alice is slowly building but they haven't won me over yet. This was hindered by the doubts Alice and the Knave expressed along the way that Alice's genie love has moved on in the year they've been apart. Their flashback scenes together were cute, especially the sword play but I guess I'm confused as to why they need to hide the bottle. Why not just keep it on Alice at all time? If she refuses to spend her wishes then the bottle is fine. It seems to me that hiding the bottle might cause more problems. The relationship aspect escalated quickly. This was what ONCE did perfectly with Snow White and Prince Charming. We saw their happy life for a brief instant in the pilot and then the writers flashbacked so that we could see them falling in love. This time around we're jumping so fast that during one flashback Alice and Cyrus have clearly just met, the next they are kissing and then declaring their love for each other. There are a lot of missing pieces that need to be considered.

Along the way we learn a bit about the Knave, Will. Apparently he's a bit of a Lothario--but only because his heart was broken by someone named Anastasia. (Bells went off in my head. Let's lay down money that Anastasia is really the Red Queen). We don't know the whole story yet but I suspect we'll get it soon enough. After an unfortunate adventure with Silvermist, the fairy, the two take a Mock Turtle to the Tum Tum Tree where they discover Jafar. Alice then reveals how clever she really is: the bottle isn't at the Tum Tum Tree, she just wanted to see who they were up against. The real location of the bottle is at the Dandy Lion bush (it's Wonderland. There are mock turtles and clothes horses and dandy lions). But sadly when they get there, they find the bottle gone, it having been taken by the White Rabbit to the Red Queen. I think the White Rabbit's wife and children have been captured and are being held prisoner by the Red Queen--as someone with a bunny, this is a sad thought, indeed.

Miscellaneous Notes on Trust Me

--Sadly the ratings have completley plummeted. I hope ABC lets the story play out but it's not looking good.

--The Knave is full of snarky comments:
"Now you've gone and hurt the tree. Happy?"
Care Bear reference

--Cyrus's magic paper is impressive but that whole scene was such a Lord of the Rings ripoff with Gandalf and the moths.

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x4)

What happened to Coulson? This is probably the biggest mystery on SHIELD. The Centipede agenda and "superhero of the week" can take a backseat. This show should be Coulson and nothing but Coulson. The rest of the cast merely floats rather boringly around his obvious charisma and charm. After this week's episode "Eye Spy" I am wondering if our beloved Agent Coulson (or A.C. as *ahem* precious Skye has taken to calling him) is something like season 3 of Alias's Sydney Bristow--a double agent who worked for a less than ethical organization, but who now has no memory of it. If this is true, is he still getting orders? Is SHIELD in danger from Coulson and not Rising Tide/Skye like I've been thinking? Interesting twists are interesting. However this week, these predicaments were only roughly teased out. The focus of this episode was about regret and control. 

Meet Akela Amondor. Once upon a time, she was one of SHIELD's best and brightest. She was smart, resourceful, and full of potential. Akela was also, however, not a team player. She didn't value the concept of working together and that's really the driving home message of this show: teamwork solves ALL the things. The guilt over having pushed Akela too hard to be open to teamwork has been eating at Coulson ever since. (sidenote: this is not only very Marvel universe but very Whedon. Consider his best shows. Buffy = teenagers working together to defeat evil. Angel = adults fighting together to solve crimes. Firefly  = ragtag mismatch team working together to survive. Teamwork makes the world go 'round in Whedon-ville). Akela was trained by Coulson prior to the battle of New York but after a mission went wrong, SHIELD wrote her off as dead, though Coulson himself never believed it. He suspected she was out there somewhere.  And, of course, he was right.

Our introduction to Akela finds her in less than noble circumstances. As in, we watch her stalk, disarm, and rob a red masked gentleman. All the red masked gentlemen are carrying briefcases handcuffed to their writs. In the blink of an eye, Akela manages to shut off the lights to the subway car and forcibly remove one of the cases. And she does this all with her eyes closed. We later find out that the red masked gentlemen are ploys by a wealthy bank who has experienced a string of robberies designed to draw out the thief. Only one of the briefcases held diamonds, the others empty. We now know that not only was Akela rather super in her disarming but that she has possess some sort of intuition/ESP in order to figure out which case had the diamonds. Coulson and the team set out to track her down, though there is a difference of opinion between Coulson and May about how to proceed. Coulson wants to hold off the manhunt and try to bring Akela in on his own--he deeply regrets the way he pushed her when she worked for SHIELD and he's determined to make it right. May, stoic stubborn May, thinks they need to use all of SHIELD's assets and get her back and take her down.

Meanwhile Akela has met with a buyer who takes the diamonds in exchange for an all access levels key card to a building in Belarus. There is a bit of a long tracking segment that really serves no purpose outside of some eyebrow raising bathroom humor and a bit of action but the overall point of it was that Akela managed to send a message to the agents.

Using her computer science know-how Skye is able to hack into a camera to find Akela. The catch? The camera is in Akela's eye. The SHIELD agents watch carefully as Akela demonstrates that she has been enhanced with a genius level camera in her eye that has X-ray vision and can receive messages from her handler. So while up until now we've been led to believe that Akela is a rouge agent who struck out on her own, turns out that she was being manipulated and controlled the entire time. The agents watch Akela over the night (she has to ask permission to sleep!) before May, who has issues with the way Coulson is handling this assignment decides to strike out on her own and bring in Akela herself. I find that Melinda May really bothers me. She's so one note--there is no emotion (good or bad) coming from her. She delivers her lines as if she is fully detached from her surroundings. And all this time we've been led to believe that May has extraordinary human ability and yet Akela almost manages to take her down and it's only when Coulson shows up with a tranqulizer that Akela is brought down. The writers better develop May quickly as I'm finding her more irritable than Skye.

Having been brought in, Akela gives us her story. After the mission that supposedly ended with her death, Akela was taken by an unseen group and kept as a prisoner for a very long time, going blind in one eye. Finally "they" brought her out of her underground cage and performed many surgeries on her eye, restoring her sight. But it wasn't really her eye; it was a synthetic eye that doubled as a camera. Akela could either work for this mysterious "they" or die--a kill switch attached to the camera that would cause instant death. Is there any chance this is what happened to Coulson? Was he working as a secret agent for some covert organization? Is he a sleeper agent inside of SHIELD?

Meanwhile, Akela still has a mission to complete and Coulson sends Skye and Ward to do it. After "seducing" a male guard to gain access to a backroom with some sort of mysterious board of weird, FitzSimmons work on removing Akela's eye-camera and tracking down her handler who Akela describes as 30yr old Englishman. When Coulson finally does track him down, the man is instantly killed by his own eye camera; he was a puppet to this shadow organization just like Akela. We have no more information on who these people are--but I suspect it will call come back around to Centipede, especially when Coulson speculates that the mysterious board of weird contains alien equations.

Miscellaneous Notes on Eye-Spy

--Much better episode than the two previous. The strength of this show is really in Coulson and letting Clark Gregg shine.

--"I live outside the box."

--Akela's final "what happened to him" line to May suggests that she alone recognizes that something other than his "death" at the battle of New York has happened to Coulson. She obviously knew him quite well and can tell that something is off.

--Bromance seduction scene was pretty funny.

--Skye is really starting to bother me. Not because I think she's a double agent or anything but she has this tendency to deliver the cringe worth  emotional "You believed in me now I'm going to save you" speeches. Every week.

In Which I Review Sleepy Hollow (1x5)

Roanoke Colony was a late 16th century attempt by Queen Elizabeth to establish a permanent English settlement in the New World. Of course, there is a reason why Roanoke Colony is remembered today even though it wasn't successful like Plymouth or Jamestown. No, Roanoke is remembered because it vanished. Or, rather, the people vanished. When the final shipment of supplies from England came back, the people of Roanoke were nowhere to be found. Naturally this has become the source of Hollywood fodder. Vampires, angles, portals of hell, and disease run amok have all been explanations for why the people of Roanoke vanished. In actuality, the settlers probably integrated with local tribes, starved to death, or were killed for being interlopers. I'm fairly certain mystical and mysterious forces were not at work here. But, that doesn't make for a good compelling television story. So what does make for a good Roanoke story? Death! Horseman! Time travel (sorta)!  In this week's episode, "John Doe," Ichabod and Abbie encounter the mystery of Roanoke and we meet another horseman. 

The titular John Doe in this weeks episode is a young boy, later named Thomas, who opens our story this week by wandering in the woods when he spies a young girl in a white dress. The young girl is dressed in modern clothing but the young boy is dressed in ye olde English clothing. Thomas begins chasing the girl only to, in turn, be chased by a horseman. But oh lo and behold, it's not a headless horseman. This horseman is carrying a bow and wearing a Viking helmet and wearing chain mail because the more anachronistic we can get the better! And then suddenly the horseman vanishes into a puff of smoke. More on him in a bit.

Meanwhile, Ichabod has grown weary of his motel room and has decided to move into Sheriff Corbin's old cabin. It's rustic and old fashioned and Abbie jokes that it will suit Ichabod just fine. Once they "spackle" the bullet holes, of course. Ichabod and Abbie are really starting to grow on me as the idea of ship, especially considering that I think Katrina might be evil.

Abbie and Ichabod have a nice talk about belief and Abbie's struggles with it. In TV land this is what we call foreshadowing--in other words, Abbie's struggle with belief will be paramount this episode. This lovely Icahabbie moment is interrupted by police business. Our young John Doe has been found and struck by a mysterious ailment--black veins. As Ichabod wonders what happened, Thomas utters a word in another language--specifically Middle English. I gotta give props to the actors here, they really tried their best to speak a language that is different from our current English. Through a lot of translation we learn that Thomas was forbidden to leave home which turns out to be Roanoke.

Icahbod and Abbie go searching for the mysterious Roanoke colony which...they find. Hidden in the depth of the woods, which involves walking on water to find, the colony of Roanoke is thriving and operating just like it would have in the 16th century. They still speak Middle English, they still dress the same. They are removed from time (this is very Storybrooke come to think of it). And everyone in town is infected but not sick. There is a lot of confusing exposition about being led to safety by the first daughter born in America but the driving home point is the horseman: it's Pestilence.

If Pestilence is unleashed unto the world, it will join with Death and bring about the Apocalypse! (because of reasons?) (technically there are 4 Horseman..where are the other ones?) (for that matter where is Satan and the Beast? Is Moloch the Beast?)

Ichabod and Abbie realize that Thomas must be taken back to Roanoke but oh no! Ichabod is infected and put into isolation where he is spiritually transported to Purgatory. Don't ask me to explain this. He's not dead--though Katrina thinks he is.

But while there we learn that Moloch, the horned demon, decides when souls can leave Purgatory and where they go. Katrina is being kept by Moloch but Ichabod is pulled out of Purgatory before Katrina can tell us why. I keep joking that Katrina must be evil because of the black flow-y dresses but now I'm starting to think I'm right. She made a pact with Moloch. Perhaps power for her and her coven in return for her soul?

Ichabod is released into the world to take Thomas home after Abbie convinces the Police Chief that it needs to happen. How you ask? Faith. Her faith and belief come into sharp focus this episode when Abbie finds herself in a chapel asking for a sign from God of how to cure everyone. God tends to not directly talk to people but a sign she gets nevertheless: water. The water in Roanoke is the key. When this is questioned, Abbie says "I've got no choice but to believe." And then she preceeded to turn on a light board with her mind.

No I'm just kidding. Abbie's not exactly like Olivia Dunham. She and Ichabod take Thomas back to Roanoke, the horseman of Pestilence hot on their heels. Thomas and Ichabod dunk themselves in the magical waters of the village...before it vanishes. Yes, it vanished. The town, the people, all of it. POOF. Ichabod then figures out the people of Roanoke were dead all along but Thomas returned to flesh and blood when lured into our world in order to start a plague. Now that Thomas has been returned, everyone who fell sick outside in the real world is now cured! It's a miracle!

Oh and our Headless Horseman Death is back. Apparently he's been living under the sea (in a pineapple no doubt)

Miscellaneous Notes on John Doe

--Ichabod encounters our world this week with: plastic, sticky tape, Spackle, and kidnapping databases.

--Nice inside joke about the idea of Ichabod getting new clothing. The fandom is horrified.

--"What was that?"
"Adrenaline."
"I like it."

--Looks like we're going to have a three week break from Sleepy Hollow but when we return: more Horseman, more mythology and Walter Bishop (who isn't really Walter but will always be Walter to me!)

In Which I Review Once Upon A Time (3x3)

"She is quite a common fairy,” Peter explained apologetically, “she is called Tinker Bell because she mends the pots and kettles .”---Peter Pan and Wendy, J.M. Barrie

In the host of characters Disney introduced to me as a child, Tinkeberll ranks as one of my least favorites. She is rather saucy and minx like and she betrays Peter Pan and Wendy to Captain Hook. My young childlike brain did not understand what the word "slutty" entailed but having grown up since then, her short skirt, swaying hips and attempted murder of the Wendy Bird just because Peter paid attention to Wendy all make her a little hard to swallow. But what's important about Tink and her history within her own mythology is that Peter gives her a second chance. He forgives the betrayal and believes that she can do better. And that was ultimately the theme of this episode, "Quite a Common Fairy": can you ever have a second chance? Tink wants a second chance from Blue; Regina wants a second chance at love and hope; Nealfire wants a second chance with Emma and his son. The characters on this show are so morally gray that it varies from episode to episode whether or not I think they ever deserve a second chance. 

You've Got a Friend in Me 

The events of this weeks flashback take place after season two's "We Are Both" when Regina first experienced power and magic but before the events of "The Doctor" in which Regina went fully dark side and crushed a heart for the first time. It's nice to see Regina with a friend--she has never had them. We can speculate that Regina grew up friendless and alone, emotionally tortured and abused by her mother Cora. After Regina is forced to marry the King and become a stepmother to the little girl she blames for her fiancee's death, her life becomes one of intense rage and seething hatred. As she says to Tink, "my happy ending looks like Snow's head on a plate." Having a confidant like Tink, someone who is a proponent of all that is good and pure and hopeful, would have been an interesting turn for Regina. And then--like she does--Regina blew it.

Tinkerbell of the past seems to be a very good fairy--despite what Blue says, but oh...we shall get to Sneaky Blue Fairy. She believes in second chances and that you can turn away from darkness. All things a fairy should believe in. She even goes so far as to steal pixie dust from Blue in order to help Regina find love again. Regina's true love, her next shot at happiness, is just around the corner and Tink is determined to help her find it.

Using her magic (and ill gotten) pixie dust, Tink casts a spell that allows Regina to see to whom her heart truly belongs. And in a surprise to absolutely no one who has been paying attention, it's revealed to be Robin Hood. But this is before he met, courted, wed and had a child with Maid Marian. Oh what could have been! Had Regina chosen hope and love over her rage, would any of what we've seen so far in three seasons have come to pass. Roads diverged in a yellow wood and Regina (and pretty much all of our characters) take the WRONG one. Regina, in a pure Regina move, bolts before meeting Robin. As she tells Tinkerbell later, her rage was all she had. If she let go of it, she felt as though she might fly away. The final scene between Tink and Regina in the Enchanted Forest was really sad--so close to friendship and Regina thrusts it away. And poor Tink! She is in so much trouble...speaking of which....

If you are still of the opinion that the Blue Fairy is not an evil puppet master, toying with fate and destiny and behind basically everything, please go rewatch this episode (along with season one's "Dreamy" and "The Return"). Oh Sneaky Fairy! Why why why does the Blue Fairy think Regina doesn't deserve a second chance? She is the judge of what is fairy like and apparently that doesn't include forgiveness or compassion or second chances. Her hard lined opinion that Regina's fate is as dark and evil is almost beyond comprehension. She sends Young Bae to a land without magic because there is darkness in his life and she wants to "help" (yeah, right) him but yet with Regina her fate has been sealed and Tink needs to stay away? Oh Sneaky Fairy I am on to you! This has been my theory for a very long time but I believe that Blue is in league with Peter Pan and has helped engineer events that led to Henry getting captured and taken to Neverland. This is a giant chess game and certain pieces had to be in place. Rumple had to become the Dark One; Bae had to leave home and eventually land in Neverland in order to be young for a very long time in order to meet Emma and produce Henry; Emma had to be emotionally closed up when she met Henry for the first time so his "death" would really hit her. If Tink had been successful in her rehabilitation of Regina, none of what needed to happen would have happened. So what does Blue do?

She stops believing in Tinkerbell, causing the poor fairy to lose her wings and become human.There are still quite a few questions, such as "how did Tink get to Neverland?" and "why was Tink's casting call for someone who likes to party?" when we saw none of that this episode. Me thinks we will have some more Tink backstory before this season is done. But I suspect Blue banished her to Neverland for giving fairies a bad name. Oh Sneaky Fairy is Sneaky.

Does This Island Make Me Look Homicidal? 

 And then we meet Tinkerbell in present day Neverland and she's a wee bit...different. Her once bright green costume is sad and in tatters. Her once perfectly coiffed hair is a mess. She looks older and more likely to kill you (or knock you out with poppy powder) than to help you find true love. Her resentment toward Regina is powerful. She wants revenge and Regina is even willing to let her have it. But, Regina knows a thing or two about revenge. She knows that all it does is blacken your heart; it is the first step down a long path that changes your fundamental being. You can never come back from crushing your first heart. It was really wonderful to see Regina open up about knowing that the path she chose was the wrong one. You can tell that being in Neverland means confronting your past and Regina's past isn't so noble and heroic. Just take a look at her unbelievably black heart.

Can these two help each other recover from the ills they inflicted on others, and indeed, on the ills that were inflicted upon them? In a show that is all about hope, I'd say so. Regina now more than ever wants that second chance. She is tired of being the Evil Queen and wants to be Regina again and that means opening up to the possibility of her happy ending not involving Snow's head on a platter. She has quite a ways to go but with Tinkerbell there is someone to help guide her. So long as Tink doesn't try to kill her again.

And speaking of homicidal Neverland-ers: "I call it target practice." Peter Pan is basically trying to butter Henry up. I think he needs Henry to hand over his heart willingly, and in order to do that, Peter Pan has to show Henry that can have a family right here in Neverland: a place where you're never told no. Henry's psychological profile is a pretty simplistic one; he believes in good and evil and often times has difficulty seeing the gray areas. But what Henry wants more than anything is to be a hero. This is why in season one, he ate what he knew was a poisoned apple turnover in order to prove to Emma that the Curse was real. He wants sword fights, magic spells, and princes in disguise. Peter's greatest strength is recognizing people's weaknesses. Last week he played on Emma's abandonment issues, this week he played on Henry's desire to be a hero. According to Peter, magic is dying (victory dance, I was right) not just in Neverland, but in all realms. It will take the heart of the truest believer to restore magic to the worlds. By offering up his heart, Henry will be saving countless others and that is Henry's ultimate dream. So now that Henry knows why Peter Pan wants him, what's next? Well I think we're going to see Henry get closer to Peter, becoming part of the family. When Regina and Emma come for him, he may not want to go.

Shadow Play

That Shadow is the stuff of nightmares. Remind me never to declare my belief in anything near a window. So before I discuss this portion of the episode, I really wanna talk about Neal's character and who he is and why what happened last night is both acceptable and unacceptable. Nealfire is the name we use in order to remind ourselves that Neal is also Baelfire who was strong and brave and heroic and made huge sacrifices. A lot of the vitriol aimed at Neal from the fandom is that he is no longer like Bae, instead of being heroic and brave he is a coward who runs away at every opportunity. To some extent this is true, though this really depends on what goggles you are currently wearing. To me, in my very subjective viewpoint, Neal letting Emma go back in the "Tallahassee" episode was maybe one of the bravest things I've ever seen. He gave up his happy ending for the fates of thousands who were cursed and depending on Emma to save them someday. There are many who disagree with me and that's ok. But last night's plan on how to get to Neverland was very hard for me to rationalize. The Neal I know and love would never put a little child in harm's way knowing what awaited that child should the Shadow succeed in taking him to Neverland. So why did he do it? Well, one of the running themes of this show is that desperate souls do desperate things. Rumple was desperate to save his son so he became the Dark One and then, after still losing him, manipulated people and events for close to 300 years. Regina was so desperate to hold on to her rage and hatred toward Snow that she cursed an entire land full of people to lose their happy endings. We can ever talk about Snow and Charming being so desperate to always believe in goodness that they are often naivee and foolish. How many times have they forgiven or tried to forgive Regina? They are, as Emma said, "infuriatingly optimistic" and it grates on people's nerves.
So last night, Nealfire using Robin's four year old son to lure the Shadow in was another example of a desperate soul doing something wrong but for maybe right reasons. What wouldn't a parent to do to save their child? Look at Rumple. I think this is the beginning's of Neal coming to understand his Papa in way he couldn't until he knew he had a son. Until Neal learned what having a child meant and the lengths people will go to to protect their child, all Neal could see was that Rumple wasn't a good man. Now, though? I full expect that Neal and Rumple will bond over the desperate things they've done. Roland is safe; Mulan, Robin, and Little John were all there. Was Roland in any danger? I'm not sure. But I can tell you that there are a great many happy SwanFire shippers today. And I am one of them. I am so happy that Neal is in Neverland and one step closer to Emma I can barely breathe. When Neal jumped out of that window--just like Emma jumped off the Jolly Roger in 301--I screamed and danced. It won't be long now until they are reunited! However, I am slightly worried that the first person Neal ran into is Felix who is almost as scary as Peter Pan.

Miscellaneous Notes on Quite a Common Fairy 

--Speaking of happy Shippers: SleepingWarrior is both dancing in the aisles and crying into a pillow this morning. I've always suspected that Mulan fell in love with Aurora, but I did not see this one coming. Poor Mulan. I truly hope she finds happiness somewhere else. I fear we won't see it as I think Mulan, Aurora and Philip are done for this season but I'm glad they've opened the door for the idea of a homosexual pairing.

--Spot on casting for Tinkerbell. And brilliant costume design. So glad they put her in something very traditional instead of those horrid jelly fish outfits.

--"I don't like apples"
"Who doesn't like apples?"
"It's a family thing."
Henry is getting quite sassy, isn't he?

--Roast Swan. HA! Traditionally, the third episode of the season is Rumple-less, so I'll take what I can get.

--Hook knows Charming is injured but doesn't tell Emma or Snow. Morally acceptable or unacceptable? Hmm. It's for you to decide, just like with Neal and Roland.

--Hook and Tink's history needs to be explored. Couldn't help noticing that he called her "Lady Bell" and "Tink." Even Regina called her Tinkerbell all night. (Also, here come the CaptainFairy shippers. Thus far it's not enough for me to abandon Hookriel, but oh boy does this one have potential)

--Emma's rebuff and incredulity over Hook being her boyfriend. I cheer and have happy shipper heart. Also, protective Mama Snow, "She JUST lost Neal." Perfect.