In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x9)

I've been trying to figure out why I am so offended by this show. To be sure, there are worse TV shows out there. There are no vampires, no sordid love triangles, and there is a (marginal) attempt at a cohesive plot. I think my main problem is my expectations. I expected more. I expected the level of greatness I have come to associate not only with the Marvel Universe in general, but with Joss Whedon himself. I fully expected that this was a Joss Whedon show and would give me compelling characters who have a unique chemistry alongside intricate story lines. What we got were cardboard cuts outs and cliche overdone plot. This weeks episode, "Repairs," is no exception. It dragged and plodded along, trying to be witty or fun while at the same time driving emotional development with a few characters, but nothing was startling or new or fresh. May has a troubled past that led to her being called the Cavalry, a name she resents. Raise your hand if you're surprised by this. You know what would have been surprising? If May was called the Cavalry because she rode into situations with a devil may care, take no prisioners, attitude. Not some semi-redundant sob story about how she went into a situation to save lives and came out a different person, having lost a part of herself in the process. I don't even really want to blog this one. Or any of them anymore. I look forward to blogging all the other TV shows I watch, but this one has become a chore. So let's do this one last time with the likilhood that this will be my last attempt at SHIELD. 

This is Hannah. Hannah is this weeks "superhero we must help come to term with their powers." I suppose the big change with this storyline is that Hannah doesn't actually have any superpowers, but we'll get to that. Out in the middle of nowhere, Hannah is the town outcast. After a freak accident left four people dead, Hannah and her incompetence were blamed and her small quiet town turned on her. From the start it looks like Hannah is telekinetic, the ability to move objects with her mind. According to FitzSimmons, it's a rare power that no one really believed in but there's Hannah in a grocery store, causing objects to fall of shelves and gas stations to blow up. Erm...something like that anyway. The team is sent in to investigate, to be a welcome wagon but of course it goes wrong due to the level of hatred the town feels for Hannah. Coulson has to get her out of there before she kills people by running them over with police cars and in order to facilitate Coulson, May shoots Hannah with a tranquilizer and its back to the wonder plane.

That's just the kind of girl Melinda May is. She's tough and hard and doesn't laugh. It would be awesome if May was just that way without needing some story to explain but alas. There is a story. It is not as if the TV world has a problem with curmudgeonly people. Look at Archie Bunker, or more recently, Dr. Greg House. The latter spent 8 years a selfish, hostile bastard and the world loved him for it (and, FYI, he was like that before his leg so there goes that excuse). May could just be a bitch, and I'd be totally fine with it. Before we tell May's story, let's talk about one development that makes absolutely no sense. May and Ward have sleeping together. I suppose this was the shows attempt at being shocking and different. Obviously, most people (myself included) thought that Ward would be joining the mile high club with Skye, but instead he and May have been hooking up for Lord knows how long. I seriously cannot understand why. They have no chemistry together; they've barely even been together in scenes--May flies the plane and Ward tries to make Skye be less of an annoying flighty idiot. They're both decorated agents so I guess there's that. But outside of SHIELD merits, how did this even happen? And it's clear that there is no emotional attachment between the two. They don't want to be seen together; they are sneaking around and when Ward shows up late to work because of their tryst, May is stern and unforgiving about his tardiness. So May's story, let's just get it out of the way. There was a hostage situation, some civilians and agents being held by a cult. May got them out. That's it. Coulson doesn't know how (which makes no sense as he is in charge of all the things and agents have to be debriefed) but in the process she lost herself. May used to be different but now she's cold. Oh yawn. I was hoping May had died and come back cause that'd be more interesting than this, especially with the lack-o-details.

The agents take Hannah to the plane and secure her in a padded room. Skye does her whole, "let me be a team member! I can talk to her! Let me talk to her!" thing. Oh the level of annoyance I have for Skye goes higher every episode. And the fact that Coulson is still petting and stroking her ego makes it worse. No, Skye is not going to be a good agent someday; no, you do not need to coddle her and hold her hand. Put her back on the ground, give some money to not say anything about SHIELD and let her go live her life. May and Coulson go in to talk to Hannah and learn that prior to the accident that killed four people, she was trying to repair a piece of scientific equipment that was being used in experiments to open portals between worlds. This one coupling kept coming loose and finally the equipment fell apart and people died. Hannah believes that God is punishing her and has stopped protecting her because demons are haunting her. Yes, this is the God episode. The one where some of the characters either express disbelief in the divine and are firmly routed in science, and others espouse ideas of a loving creator. Frankly, I don't care. The only thing you need to know is that there is some sort of apparition that keeps vanishing in and out of frame and looks very menacing. To spare you all anxiety, his name is Tobias, he was in love with Hannah and he was one of the four people who "died" in the accident. He is also the guy who kept loosening the coupling on the equipment because he wanted Hannah to visit and since then he has been popping in and out to protect Hannah. I am fresh out of sympathy. Where is he popping to and from? An alien world. He thinks it's Hell, but it's another world. He is trapped between worlds (I'm pretty sure the original Star Trek did a similar episode...better). No idea what happened to the other 3 people and they are never brought up.

May takes it upon herself to fix the problem and after a freak plane landing, she hauls Hannah off to a barn where Hannah must confront Tobias. May tells Tobias to "let go" and I guess he does cause he glows and then vanishes. But he wasn't dead. He was just trapped in a portal. So where did he go? Did he go to live on some desolate alien world? Is there even oxygen there, or food? Are you basically condemning this man to oxygen deprivation and starvation? Does he wind up somewhere back on planet Earth? Or does he vanish into some great metaphysical unknown and God is love so yadda yadda yadda? Apparently the letting go process is important cause it's what Coulson told May after the life changing but incredibly vague thing. "Let go." Excellent words of wisdom. SHIELD, I think I'll let you go. So May saves the day, Coulson strokes Skye's ego again, FtizSimmons did nothing but stay in their lab, Ward fights and I yawn. All in all, a typical SHIELD episode.

Miscellaneous Notes on Repairs

--I will probably continue to watch but not blog this show anymore. It's just such a hassle.

--FitzSimmons spent most of the episode trying to pull pranks on each other and their coworkers. None of the pranks were good or funny.

--If Tobias was caught between worlds then when he vanished back to the other world, unless the atmosphere is the same as Earth, why didn't he die?

--We need a shipping name for Ward and May. FighterPilot?

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x8)

Something occurred to me last night. I was sitting in a car, with 10 minutes to spare until SHIELD came on. I was watching the clock, hoping I got home in time, when it suddenly hit me: I didn't care if I missed the first few minutes. I didn't even really care if I missed the first ten or fifteen minuets. Or the first twenty. Now, I did end up making it home in time to catch the whole episode, but as I sit here this morning, coffee in hand, to write my blog on this weeks episode, "The Well," I realize that I have almost nothing to say. Well, nothing good. There was one and only one purpose to this episode: Thor 2. The number one movie in the world, the next movie in the Marvel Superhero saga, following in the wake of the Avengers, this episode was simply fodder to promote a movie. It wasn't even subtle. By my count, the name "Thor" was dropped five times by various individuals, including Coulson, the only character to have actually met the blonde Asgardian. Oh and apparently we learned more about Ward and his greatest secret, which isn't actually a secret since he told Skye several episodes back. 

The whole episode starts with the Agents discussing Asgardian relics. Gee, I wonder if that's significant. I mean, I know I stand around randomly discussing alien technology and the hotness that is Thor. Skye, as usual, is saying stupid things about wanting to fly an Asgard ship and meet Thor because of his dreamyness (Skye, you're supposed to be familiar with the internet. Come on, now. You should know that everyone is obsessed with Loki, not Thor). There is a little set up about how aliens and humans don't mix well. *yawn* I'm sorry, what were you saying, Agents? Was it important? I was too busy rolling my eyes over to obvious set up. Raise your hand if you now think this episode will focus on how humans and aliens cannot mix well. *Raises hands and feet and eyebrows.* Oh, what's this? Random hikers out in the woods who decide to cut down a tree. Well, I'm sure that is perfectly normal and isn't a reflection of what the Agents were just discussing. So these random hikers start cutting down a tree and find a metal rod. From henceforth, I shall refer to the metal rod as a stick. I'm sure it has a fancy name, but considering the idiocy of this entire episode for it be anything but "the stick" would just be silly. The stick makes you HULK out. Oh. Look at that. Another Marvel reference. A person touches the stick and it glows and then you have super human strength and anger and you must embrace the rage. Random Human Angry! Random Human Smash!

The team arrives in the forest and I guess there is some sort of banter (I actually wrote in my notes "some sort of banter" because I couldn't be bothered to pay attention to what the stiff cardboard cut outs were saying to each other). They learn that the stick is not of this world. SHOCK! I am in total SHOCK. You mean the beginning conversation about aliens and Asgard was setting something up? Miracle of miracles. Anyway, there is a cult obsessed with Norse mythology and they want the stick. (Another sign this show is loosing ground fast is when even I'm not interested in the mythology episode. I have a degree in religion which heavily focuses on myth and I'm bored!) Also, the stick is only a third of a stick. The real stick is much bigger. Two other sticks out in the world. Oh dear. I wonder if we have to go in search of them. Better call in some random plot device guy who can tell us everything we need to know about the sticks in an info-dump; and while we're at it, let's make him seem somewhat suspicious.

Meet random plot device info-dump suspicious guy! I think he has a name. Elliot Randall is what I wrote in my notes, but it is *very* possible that I made that up. Let's just call him Suspicious Professor. Suspicious Professor is an expert in Norse history and myth and has the ability to read the writing on the stick. The agents of SHIELD, the top secret government agency who have dealt with the Asgardians, have a working relationship with the future king and had his younger brother in captivity once CAN'T read the writing, but Suspicious Professor can. Golly, what a wonderful plot device. Alright, here comes the info-dump. Long ago there existed a set of warriors known as the Beserkers who fought in an almost trance induced state of rage and anger. They were the stuff of nightmares. But one lone Berserker fell in love with the Earth and decided that the way of peace was for him. So he took his stick and broke it into thirds and scattered it throughout the earth. Which is dumb. All someone has to do is touch one third of the stick and they Hulk out. So if you loved the earth and its people so much, maybe you should have drowned the stick or destroyed it with fire. Or sent it back to the Asgard. Or, anything else really. At any rate, now the Agents know their mission and they go off to search for the other pieces of the stick and they wind up in an underground tunnel where--lo and behold, wonder of wonders--the Suspicious Professor is seen carrying off another piece of the stick! Ward confronts him, only to touch the stick and is infected with rage! Ward Angry! Ward Smash!

Honestly, I could care less. Ward is about as compelling as watching cheese become moldy. Apparently when you touch the stick, you start to relive your worst memory. And this is a memory Ward has pushed deep down and tried to forget. Remember when he told Skye about his brother and his brother's cruelty? Yes, his worst memory has something to do with that. Apparently his older brother threw him down a well as a child and made him tread water before allowing the other brother to pull him out. Which is horrifying, I grant. But it wasn't exactly revelatory. And then there is Skye. Ward doesn't want to talk about this moment with anyone and Skye tells FitzSimmons to drop it and leave Ward be except then she turns around and butts into his life with her, "I'm here if you want to talk. Maybe we can talk. Can we talk? Let's talk" nonsense and someone make her shut up! At least Ward shuts her down, completely going off on Skye and I cheered. If she were to "accidentally" fall out of the plane, I'd be ok with it.

Meanwhile, Coulson is questioning the Suspicious Professor (they captured him. Did I mention that?). And then the big moment: the Suspicious Professor is an Asgard alien. He's like the Anti-Thor! Thor is big and muscular and full of the sex. This guy is small, mousy, and balding. Oh, I get it. We weren't supposed to suspect Suspicious Professor of being a god. And naturally the only one who guessed was Coulson because of a random clue? Oh, and Suspicious Professor is also the warrior from the stick story, but I'm guessing you already put that together too. The Suspicious Professor gives one more piece of background on his stick, "it shines a light into your dark places." The frack does that even mean? That is a line written by some writer who has lofty ideals about self and being. It is also dirty and my mind is in the gutter. Thankfully, the rage and the memories the stick invokes will wear off, but while Ward has all that simmering rage, might as well put it to good use. So the team packs up to find the third piece, which was located in a church. But the crazy cult is also there and a fight breaks out and Ward...goes berserk. Yeah, I've been waiting to use that line. For some reason the Suspicious Professor is injured and Coulson sticks his hand into the alien chest. In the end it isn't even Ward who takes down the cult but May who uses the stick to defeat them but instead of going crazy like Ward, she is able to channel her anger. It's all that tai chi.

Miscellaneous Notes from The Well

--Ok, so in case you missed it, you should now be properly conditioned to go see Thor 2.

--More Tahiti references and still we won't be getting that story next week. Stop making me wait. Coulson is the only thing saving this show right now.

--May tells Ward that unlike him, she sees her worst memory everyday. Again, writers, you need to develop her. No one cares about the rest of your cast/characters. Work with your strengths and maybe I'll come back next fall.


 

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x7)

This show is about teamwork. Is that clear to everyone? Have they beat that into your head enough? Cause it's super important that you understand that this is a team. A team-y team. Alright, I'm be facetious but the point remains: this show is beating a dead horse. This weeks episode of Agents of SHIELD, "The Hub," harped on the idea of "trusting the system" and putting your faith in the order a well oiled machine can bring--unless your own personal team is in danger and then screw the system because gosh darnit, this is *your* team and they matter more than any system. Someone is going to have to explain to me why this was an episode of SHIELD. This show is predicated on superheroes and villains, so why am I watching an episode that would fit better with an international spy show? It was as if the writers pulled two character names out of a hat and then pulled a classic spy situation from a James Bond film and went "ah ha! Story!" No! There was nothing SHIELD worthy of this episode, until the end. It is very possible that after this first season, SHIELD and I will be parting ways. Maybe if they kill Skye, I'll stick around. 

 The show opens with Coulson and his team rescuing another agent from being deep undercover. Never mind what this agent was doing or who he is; it will never be expanded upon. Let's just call him Agent Man. Agent Man has a thing up his nose that is disgustingly pulled out. And no, it doesn't matter what this nose thing is. What matters is where the nose thing is going: The Hub. Ooooh. Secretive name for secretive base. Cliches are cliche. Seriously, if you're a secretive government agency, why are you naming your base of operations something so painfully obvious? You might as well name it, "The Place Where All Our Secrets Are Stored. Terrorism Welcome!" Our team of cardboard cutouts and Coulson (and May) go to the Hub where only those with Level 7 or 8 (there's a level 8?) access are invited into a meeting with Agent Lady. I have no idea what her name is and frankly don't care. She has a red streak in her hair but is wearing super business clothing and "take me serious" glasses. I shall refer to her as Agent Lady or Red Streak Lady.

There is a quick info-dump that went by at lightening speed but you can pretty much pick up any James Bond book/movie that deals with the USSR and get the general idea. Insurgents. Big Bad Weapon. Stupid name for Big Bad Weapon (Overkill Device) to really drive home just how Big Bad the Big Bad Weapon is. No, the weapon isn't alien. No, the insurgents are part of Centipede. No, there are no superheroes in this episode. And apparently the CIA isn't a thing in the SHIELD universe. And because cliches are cliche, SHIELD must send in two team members: the brain and the brawn. So overly trope-tastic. This always happens when you have a dangerous mission. You send in one guy who has the military expertise (Ward) who is going to perform the action fighting and at the same time you send in the super genius (Fitz? That's the guy right?) whose job it is to do all the high tech brainy stuff. And along the way the two discover that they have more in common than you might think and that despite all the odds, they work well together and their two skills help each other and oh grab a hanky cause I can already hear the orchestra tuning up to have a stirring musical piece play in the background as the two team members declare that they aren't leaving the other behind! Do I sound bitter? I don't mean to. Ok, yes I do, but this show needs to be scrapped and try again.

Where was I? Right. Plot! While Ward and Fitz are doing the brain/brawn thing, Skye is being Skye. Seriously, girl. I get it. You had a rough life and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you. Do you know what prevents me from feeling bad for you? The fact that you're an idiot. You've been invited into a top secret government agency and still you act like a spoiled petulant child despite that this super secret government agency keeps giving you second chances. They should have dumped you out of the plane already! So what do you do this week? Break into the secret government organization's computer? SURE! But what's even more horrendous is the excuse you give for the hacking: I was helping my team! No, you weren't. You had an alternate agenda. So Skye's whole mission is to find out what happened to her parents. She knows they are involved in SHIELD somehow but all the documents have been covered up. So once she manages to get access to the super secret computers, which not only involved not trusting in the system but also corrupting her fellow teammate Simmons to be a bad girl and break the rules, the first thing Skye does is not go look for information about her friends but information about her parents. Her friends, Ward and Fitz who have been her excuse and how she emotionally manipulated Simmons into helping, are not Skye's first concern. With only seconds left, Skye goes to get their information, but only after she's dealt with her own private affairs. And to add insult to injury, Skye does all this after Coulson has implored her to leave well enough alone, let the system handle it. Coulson, you're better than this. Drop her already.

Meanwhile Ward and Fitz have, I don't know, broken into some sort of facility with relative ease. And there is the Big Bad Weapon. I have no idea what it does. Something really horrible that will destroy SHIELD's weapons or something. Fitz and Ward must work together (a theme!) to take apart the weapon. At this point, Ward informs Fitz that there is no extraction team in place. They are on their own. No idea why. That's never explained. But it is the one thing Skye learns from her hacking. And it freaks the team out. Cause you know, this is a team! And the team must stick together! You can't leave Brain/Brawn in some foreign country with insurgents on their tail. That's just not very team like, now is it? So, our SHIELD team decides to take matters into their own hands and goes to rescue Ward and Fitz, which they do in remarkable time. Seriously, I know the ever-flying plane is super powerful but can you really get to "former Russian satellite" country that fast? Whatever. The plane swoops in and saves the Brain/Brawn duo. Huzzah! And then, to further the idea of being a team, Skye doesn't get in trouble for her hacking, instead she gets what she wants. Coulson reveals a small part of Skye's past: a SHIELD agent dropped her off at the orphanage at a young age but they don't know if this was her mother or not. But he won't stop looking, he is going to help Skye. WHY?! She's done nothing but be a burden to you and your team. She doesn't follow rules, she lies, she deceives and she ultimately cares more about herself than any of you.

Miscellaneous Notes on "The Hub"

--Maybe my shortest review ever? I can't with this show right now.

--Fitz and Simmons need to get over whatever hang ups they are holding on to and just be together already. It's painfully obvious.

--I will admit to laughing at some of the spy situations. "We're being tracked by dogs and you brought a prosciutto sandwich?" (with buffalo mozzarella cheese)

--The only interesting part of this episode came at the end with two scenes. First, May and Coulson know more than they are letting on about Skye's past but some secrets must be kept. Not very team worthy, guys. And second, Coulson is finally trying to look into what happened to him in "Tahiti" but has been denied access, despite him being level 8. This is what SHIELD should be focusing on. Coulson is really why everyone is watching still. Give us more of him!

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x6)

It is becoming increasingly apparent just how little Joss Whedon has to do with this show. He was obviously brought on to develop and launch but not actually see the show to fruition. Very JJ Abrams who launches show after show and then leaves before seeing it through. SHIELD is beginning to frustrate me. The characters, except for Coulson and to a lesser degree May, are cardboard cutouts who lack chemistry and charisma on screen. The writing is becoming stale and overly sentimental. And episodes like this weeks "FZZT" are less about developing myth and arc and more about promotion and fandom. This episode did little except set up the ships of the show and remind people that this show sprang from the greatness that was the Avengers movie and previous Marvel Universe movies. 

Did you catch the two Avengers references? Skye's completely unfunny Captain America is "The Dude" joke and Coulson's somewhat better Iron Man joke pretty much fell on deaf ears. Oh and then there is the whole exclusive sneak peek for Thor: The Dark World that came in the middle of the episode (and was literally a 15 second clip of Thor smashing things. Cause we've NEVER seen that before). Oh and then there was the whole plot of the episode which was nothing but a reminder of the Avengers. Do I sound bitter? I don't mean to. There was just so much potential for this show and it's not even close to living up to right now. The showrunners need to fire half the cast, make the show totally focused on Coulson (with a side of Melinda May) and get a fully developed villain to fight. Superhero of the week is fine every now and then but so far the shadowy Centipede enterprise isn't doing much for the show as a whole.

When we last left off, Skye was discovered as a faux-double agent (her allegiance to Rising Tide is still questionable because she claims that the events of the previous episode were done out of love for her boyfriend) and was punished. Wait. Did I say punished? I mean she was forgiven and let back on the team but tagged with a magic bracelet to monitor her computer activity. Something she resents. A lot. Because she complained about it nonstop this episode. We get it, Skye. You think this treatment is unfair? You know what I think is unfair? That you were even let back on to the team! You know, the one you betrayed and lied to? But she has read all the protocol books now and she is really sorry, guys! But still Ward is being a meany pants and won't play nice or make sweet eyes with her. Gag me. Even Coulson tells Ward that maybe he's being a smidge too hard on her. No! He's not! She lied to you people and almost handed over your secrets. Just because she gave you her sob story about her Agent parents doesn't mean she gets lollipops. Get over yourself, Skye.

Anyway. The episode. It begins with a camping trip of Boy Scouts who are telling each other ghost stories. The leader telling the story suddenly begins to hear a humming noise, as he goes to investigate some freak electrical storms being swarming around the camp site and suddenly a blue light of energy pulses out and the body of the scout leader is found hovering in the air. Meanwhile on the plane (no seriously. Why are they always on the plane? Do they literally just fly around airspace waiting for a mission from HQ? How does this work? How much fuel is SHIELD pumping into the atmosphere? How much damage is that plane doing to the biosphere?) Skye and the science duo of FitzSimmons (still can't remember which one is which) are joking and bonding! Oh look at the camaraderie with the traitor. Isn't it cute? The mission comes in and the teams heads off to investigate. The body of the boy scout leader (who was also a firefighter) is discovered to be altered in body density but the floating is still a mystery. Until another victim is found floating in his barn. Turns out that the first victim and the second victim were both firefighters at the same house! A coincidnece? I think not!

Not only do the two firefighters work at the same house, the entire firefighting team was one of those who responded when the Chitauri invaded New York. You know, in the Avengers. For those who don't know, the Chitauri are an alien race who came through a wormhole and invaded New York. And they wore helmets. The helmets are important. By the time the team gets to the firehouse, one more firefighter has come down with the symptoms of "about to go boom." Turns out the first two victims and this soon-to-be-pulling-a-Houdini firefighter spent the other night polishing a Chitauri helmet, one they kept as a souvenir. There was a virus on the helmet that turns humans who come in contact with it into floating lightening bolts. The only good part of this episode was Coulson talking to the dying firefighter. Coulson hasn't been the same since New York. He knows he died and while he can cover his feelings with smiles and jokes, he feels different. Coulson tells the firefighter that "I was there" and that "it was beautiful." (Meta joke: I honestly expected him to burst into song and sing a la Buffy "I think I was in heaven.") Gregg Clark really shines here and this show needs to be focused on him and him alone.

At some point the girl scientist (Simmons?) touched the body of a dead firefighter and was shocked and this spread the infection to her. She is quarantined in her lab and given two hours to figure out a cure. She tries unsuccessfully to come with an anti-serum, killing several rats in the process, while her male cohort (and obvious love interest) Fitz helps on the other side. You can tell that they work well together, despite competition and fussiness over needing their own space. And you can tell that Simmons is totally and wholly in love with him. And that he's an idiot who has no idea. Because this is unique and original. (Actually it reeks of Willow and Xander in early seasons of Buffy). The SHIELD HQ (so there is an HQ?) has ordered Coulson to "drop" his infected "cargo," something Coulson will ignore. Feeling the pressure of a ticking clock before BOOM of Simmons, Fitz breaks the quarantine and they come up with a brilliant plan to fix the problem. Only it doesn't work. The rat they test it on still dies. Simmons decides she must be brave and, after knocking out Fitz, decides to jump out of the plane. But wait! What's this?! The rat is alive! The anti-serum only knocked it out before fully curing it! Oh huzzah. But wait, Simmons is plunging to the watery abyss below. Not to fear! Ward can save her by breaking the laws of physics. (How did he catch up to her when she was in free fall and he was several moments behind her?) Anyway. Simmons is saved, Ward is going to ease up on Skye and the little happy ships of the show continue to sail on. Boringly.

The only really interesting aspect here was Coluson and May's final conversation. We still don't know much about May and her past as "The Calvary." But did she die at one point? When Coulson finally opens up to her about how he feels different since New York, May not only sympathizes but empathizes. She says, "do you know how long it took me.." before Coulson cuts her off with a word and a knowing look. I'm starting to think that May's decision to go behind the desk had a lot to do with a near death (possible DEATH) experience which left her shaken. Are May and Coulson going to be an item? They seem to have an understanding and a mutual respect for each other. So we have Sward, FitzSimmons, and now we need a new ship name! Coming up with ship names is my very favorite. Coulay, Mayson, Mellip, AsianGlasses.

Yeah that last one is clearly the best.

Miscellaneous Notes on "FZZT"

--I have no idea why this episode was titled this. None. Did they reference it? Does it make sense to anyone?

--May's idea of interrogation, "Have a cookie."

--Fitz flirting with Skye needs to stop. She's not going to go for you.

--Can we please get a real villain? Please?

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (1x5)

I debated not doing a blog for this episode. "The Girl in the Flower Dress" was a bit long and drawn out and frankly played on themes already replete in the season so far: trust, loyalty, can Skye really work for SHIELD, and Coulson's trust in people to do the right thing (whatever that means). At some point the writers need to understand that I get it: Skye has torn loyalties between her liberal ideology regarding freedom of information and the fact that SHIELD is the first place that has felt like home to the computer hacking orphan. We saw this two weeks ago in "The Asset" and we saw it in the premiere pilot episode. However, once I realized that this was a mythology based episode, I knew I had to blog it. What exactly is a mythology based episode? In other words, non-filler. It is not "moral of the week" (though this show seems determined to trot out a moral agenda by varying degrees every week) and while it is another "superhero of the week" episode, it returns the audience to what was established in the pilot, namely Centipede. Quick refresher since it had been a few episodes. Centipede is an incredibly well funded, super secret, high tech, scientific organization that has been turning people into superheros. They have developed a serum that has the nasty side effect of making people into living bombs. The serum for some reason causes them to burn from the inside out. We have no idea who is behind Centipede but their ultimate end game seems to be making "little toy soliders" to do with as they please. 

One of the reoccurring themes this episode was the idea of illusions: things are not what they appear to be. A street performer has superhero powers that he might use for cheap tricks. A girl in a pretty flower dress is secretly working for a covert organization that wants to take your power. A reformed computer hacker may not be that reformed. A ideologue might be willing to compromise his integrity for the right price.  "Girl in the Flower Dress" was all about stripping (maybe burning would be a better word) the layers to reveal the truth.

Our story opens in Hong Kong where a street performer is having a rather lackluster performance. Everyone is polite but from the looks of his empty coffers, they aren't overly impressed. Sensing that he isn't about to make much money tonight, the street performer pulls out a show stopping number in which he appears to throw fire balls into the crowd, while a pretty girl in a flower dress looks on approvingly. Raina, our titular girl in the flower dress, would very much like to see the street performer, Chan, do his magic again. He hesitates and in the intervening moments takes the time to give us his story. The ability to make fire in his palms started a few years ago but the truly remarkable thing is that he feels no pain when he conjures the fire. And then men in flame retardant suits kidnap him. Like ya do.

Chan is taken to a secret lab where he is offered the chance to be a superstar! No more Mr. Ignoble, but instead Scorch, the newest superhero up there with the likes of Captain America (because his next movie is coming out really soon and hello free advertising!) It's an offer that is hard to refuse and the idea gets played on a few times during the episode. Raina states that "everyone wants to be remembered" (this is especially true when you have some sort of super human ability or power. I'm looking at you Mr. Achilles) and later Coulson laments "ah crap. They gave him a name," when Chan refuses to stand down, suggesting that Coulson understands that taking on a superhero name changes that person's character, makes them something different. Hal Jordan is just a guy, but give him a ring and a name and he's a different person. Clark Kent is a nerdy farm boy, but call him Superman and the Kent persona is almost washed away.

So what does Centipede want with Chan--I'm sorry. Scorch. Chan's unique ability isn't that he can throw fireballs; it's that he can do it without feeling any kind of pain. His blood platelets are essentially fire resistant. He can burn from the inside out and not be destroyed by it. Sound familiar? It should because it's Centipede's biggest problem in making their own superhero army. The plan? Remove Chan's platelets, essentially stripping him of his ability to create fire pain free (but he can still create fire) and then leave him neither super nor a hero.

Meanwhile, back on the plane (Side note: why are they always on the plane? Do they not have a base somewhere? Do they just randomly fly through the sky until they are told of a mission? I know the plane is impressive but wouldn't this wear on the body after awhile?) Skye and Ward continue to grow closer as mentor and protege. And I continue to be bored by both of them. Ward had potential in the pilot but he's severely lacking in charisma and charm. The team is told of the mission and the first big question they must answer is how Centipede found Chan, who was being kept under surveillance by SHIELD agents. Skye quickly puts her skills to use and discovers it was a fellow Rising Tide hacker named Miles. With whom she is rather...close. Cue the sexy time music. To demonstrate her divided loyalties, Skye alerts Miles to SHIELD and then proceeds to spend the afternoon with him discussing how SHIELD is really not the belly of the beast, how they are good people. This is interrupted when the team walks in on Skye and Miles post hay roll and her duplicitous nature is now out in the open. Skye then spends the rest of the episode trying to prove that she is loyal to SHIELD and has forsaken the Rising Tide. Of course there is more to this story, but we'll get to that.

Chan, having been stripped of his blood platelets, goes slightly Hulk like and decides to SMASH and BURN everything, including the Doctor we met in the pilot episode. Turns out she's not all that important but the Girl in the Flower Dress is. Hence, the title. The SHIELD team do manage to minimize the damage though they cannot save Chan. But now SHIELD knows that Centipede has the ability to inject the serum without causing their subjects to explode.

And then it's a Coulson/Skye showdown. Skye has one chance to explain her actions or she's done. Let's take a step back: during her afternoon delight party with Miles we saw that Skye keeps a very tiny microchip in her bra. She hands this over to Coulson and reveals that it contains all the information she has on her parents, missing or dead she's not sure. But their entire lives were wiped away clean, except for one document that was classified by SHIELD. She wants SHIELD's help to find her parents or at least what happened to them. And because sad orphans are sad, she is marginally forgiven.

And then there is some extra scene where the Girl in the Flower Dress is talking to a prisoner who tells her to move on to stage two by using "The Clairvoyant." Cue the dramatic music.

Miscellaneous Notes from Girl in the Flower Dress.

--Loved that after a rapid Chinese exchange between May and Chan, Coulson's only response is "So we're good right?"

--Place your bets on Skye's parents. Alive or dead (mother alive, father dead) and the chances that they are working for Centipede (high).

--May got to fight a little but she's still really under utilized though I did appreciate that they let Ming-Na use her native tongue in this episode.

--Do the science brainy duo do anything? And which one is which? It's a statement of how your show is going if I can't distinguish between people and don't care enough to look them up. 

--No SHIELD for another two weeks. When we come back, I suspect we'll see the return of Dr. Hill as our new villain and the hunt for Skye's parents gets under way. 

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x4)

What happened to Coulson? This is probably the biggest mystery on SHIELD. The Centipede agenda and "superhero of the week" can take a backseat. This show should be Coulson and nothing but Coulson. The rest of the cast merely floats rather boringly around his obvious charisma and charm. After this week's episode "Eye Spy" I am wondering if our beloved Agent Coulson (or A.C. as *ahem* precious Skye has taken to calling him) is something like season 3 of Alias's Sydney Bristow--a double agent who worked for a less than ethical organization, but who now has no memory of it. If this is true, is he still getting orders? Is SHIELD in danger from Coulson and not Rising Tide/Skye like I've been thinking? Interesting twists are interesting. However this week, these predicaments were only roughly teased out. The focus of this episode was about regret and control. 

Meet Akela Amondor. Once upon a time, she was one of SHIELD's best and brightest. She was smart, resourceful, and full of potential. Akela was also, however, not a team player. She didn't value the concept of working together and that's really the driving home message of this show: teamwork solves ALL the things. The guilt over having pushed Akela too hard to be open to teamwork has been eating at Coulson ever since. (sidenote: this is not only very Marvel universe but very Whedon. Consider his best shows. Buffy = teenagers working together to defeat evil. Angel = adults fighting together to solve crimes. Firefly  = ragtag mismatch team working together to survive. Teamwork makes the world go 'round in Whedon-ville). Akela was trained by Coulson prior to the battle of New York but after a mission went wrong, SHIELD wrote her off as dead, though Coulson himself never believed it. He suspected she was out there somewhere.  And, of course, he was right.

Our introduction to Akela finds her in less than noble circumstances. As in, we watch her stalk, disarm, and rob a red masked gentleman. All the red masked gentlemen are carrying briefcases handcuffed to their writs. In the blink of an eye, Akela manages to shut off the lights to the subway car and forcibly remove one of the cases. And she does this all with her eyes closed. We later find out that the red masked gentlemen are ploys by a wealthy bank who has experienced a string of robberies designed to draw out the thief. Only one of the briefcases held diamonds, the others empty. We now know that not only was Akela rather super in her disarming but that she has possess some sort of intuition/ESP in order to figure out which case had the diamonds. Coulson and the team set out to track her down, though there is a difference of opinion between Coulson and May about how to proceed. Coulson wants to hold off the manhunt and try to bring Akela in on his own--he deeply regrets the way he pushed her when she worked for SHIELD and he's determined to make it right. May, stoic stubborn May, thinks they need to use all of SHIELD's assets and get her back and take her down.

Meanwhile Akela has met with a buyer who takes the diamonds in exchange for an all access levels key card to a building in Belarus. There is a bit of a long tracking segment that really serves no purpose outside of some eyebrow raising bathroom humor and a bit of action but the overall point of it was that Akela managed to send a message to the agents.

Using her computer science know-how Skye is able to hack into a camera to find Akela. The catch? The camera is in Akela's eye. The SHIELD agents watch carefully as Akela demonstrates that she has been enhanced with a genius level camera in her eye that has X-ray vision and can receive messages from her handler. So while up until now we've been led to believe that Akela is a rouge agent who struck out on her own, turns out that she was being manipulated and controlled the entire time. The agents watch Akela over the night (she has to ask permission to sleep!) before May, who has issues with the way Coulson is handling this assignment decides to strike out on her own and bring in Akela herself. I find that Melinda May really bothers me. She's so one note--there is no emotion (good or bad) coming from her. She delivers her lines as if she is fully detached from her surroundings. And all this time we've been led to believe that May has extraordinary human ability and yet Akela almost manages to take her down and it's only when Coulson shows up with a tranqulizer that Akela is brought down. The writers better develop May quickly as I'm finding her more irritable than Skye.

Having been brought in, Akela gives us her story. After the mission that supposedly ended with her death, Akela was taken by an unseen group and kept as a prisoner for a very long time, going blind in one eye. Finally "they" brought her out of her underground cage and performed many surgeries on her eye, restoring her sight. But it wasn't really her eye; it was a synthetic eye that doubled as a camera. Akela could either work for this mysterious "they" or die--a kill switch attached to the camera that would cause instant death. Is there any chance this is what happened to Coulson? Was he working as a secret agent for some covert organization? Is he a sleeper agent inside of SHIELD?

Meanwhile, Akela still has a mission to complete and Coulson sends Skye and Ward to do it. After "seducing" a male guard to gain access to a backroom with some sort of mysterious board of weird, FitzSimmons work on removing Akela's eye-camera and tracking down her handler who Akela describes as 30yr old Englishman. When Coulson finally does track him down, the man is instantly killed by his own eye camera; he was a puppet to this shadow organization just like Akela. We have no more information on who these people are--but I suspect it will call come back around to Centipede, especially when Coulson speculates that the mysterious board of weird contains alien equations.

Miscellaneous Notes on Eye-Spy

--Much better episode than the two previous. The strength of this show is really in Coulson and letting Clark Gregg shine.

--"I live outside the box."

--Akela's final "what happened to him" line to May suggests that she alone recognizes that something other than his "death" at the battle of New York has happened to Coulson. She obviously knew him quite well and can tell that something is off.

--Bromance seduction scene was pretty funny.

--Skye is really starting to bother me. Not because I think she's a double agent or anything but she has this tendency to deliver the cringe worth  emotional "You believed in me now I'm going to save you" speeches. Every week.

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x3)

Moralistic television can be annoying. This is not to say there exists TV that doesn't have a moral message--all TV does. But if the program in question beats you over head with its sugary sweet message of goodness and righteousness, it can get old fast. I don't want to say that Agents of SHIELD is going down that road--because it's a Whedon show and he knows what he is doing--but this is the third episode in a row that sets up a moral quandary and then focuses on how the characters do their best to uphold that moral in the face of adversary. It can feel a little pretentious and precious. The first week it was the idea of the everyday hero; the second episode focused on teamwork and unique individuals forming a collective whole; in this weeks episode, "The Asset," the so-called "defining moment" took center stage. A defining moment is when a person is confronted with a choice: stay and fight or run. This week we saw Skye have her own defining moment, we heard about Ward's moment and to a lesser extent May made her own choice. 
One final word before the review: Whedon's season one of television. There is a reason why I'm sticking with SHIELD for now and it's because I know what typically comes after a lukewarm season one: epicness. I grew up on Buffy and Angel and love them dearly but when you go back and watch season one of both, they are slightly cringe worthy. It takes time for the show to find its niche. Season one of Buffy, while good enough, is nothing compared to season two, and certainly nothing compared to seasons 4-6. The same with Angel, it took until the second season for it to hit its stride. I think if SHIELD can find a better mix of morality and action/adventure, it can be really good. 

 The titular "asset" this week refers to one Dr. Franklin Hall, super science genius. The episode opens with a truck driver (and SHIELD agent) assuring his handlers that "the cargo is secure." This is, in TV land, cue for the cargo to become decidedly un-secure. And lo, two black unmarked (they are always unmarked) vehicles approach the truck and it's battle of the heavy armored cars! Until the truck starts to fly, which I admit was pretty wondrous--I actually put down my pen and just watched--until it crashed. The people in the black cars break into the now crashed truck and take Dr. Hall. We then cut to the other asset of this episode--Skye, our hacktivist who is being pushed and trained by Ward. Skye, because she's a bit of a child and very unappreciative, complains the entire time about how she doesn't want to train or condition her body because it "doesn't come easy to her" like computer science. Whine whine whine. She reminds me a bit of Cordelia Chase from Buffy, has one skill and one ability and doesn't see the need to improve in other areas. Of course, once Cordy got off of Buffy  and went to Angel, she really grew on me, so Skye will probably receive close to the same treatment.

As Skye whines, Ward treats her to our moral message of the week: everyone has a defining moment in which you decide to stay or you run. Most of us know this as the natural "fight or flight" response, but it sounds more superhero if we call it a "defining moment." Skye tries to pry into Ward's background and figure out his defining moment but they are interrupted by Hall's disappearance. This is when we get a lot of science mumbo-jumbo. Ready? Hall is an expert on something called Graviton, which is a theoretical material which, if put into a theoretical machine, can change the rules of gravity and make everything topsy-turvy. Hall has been kidnapped by Ian Quinn, billionaire philanthropist advocate who continually steals Hall's work. He has brought Hall to his villa in Malta, outside of international law, to force him to power his machine in order to bring down the USA, EU, and SHIELD because they are hindering technological progress. With the help of an insider at SHIELD (dun-dun-duuuuun) Quinn was able to kidnap Hall.

So what is SHIELD to do? They can't go after Hall because of extradition laws and their hands must be clean. Cue Skye. She has no association with SHIELD because she is just a consultant and not an official agent. After some fancy hackery, Skye finds herself invited to Quinn's villa where her mission is to get Ward and Coulson in. Naturally, this does not go as planned and Quinn figures her out and Skye proceeds to dance and lie and sell out SHIELD--on the surface. Quinn has a rather enticing offer for Skye--come join my freedom fighting team and put your skills to use. For awhile it seems like Skye may actually be considering this offer, but just prior to this Skye and Ward had a little heart to heart where Ward reveals his own defining moment. Ward was the middle child and his older brother was a bully who would beat Ward and his younger brother for simple things, like eating his cake. So it should come as no surprise that when Skye is found out and Quinn questions why someone of Rising Tide would betray her principles for SHIELD, Skye defends SHIELD, that it is the brother who protects the little guy because of cake. Skye and Ward are so obviously the romance of this story, it's not even subtle.

Meanwhile, Ward and Coulson have landed on the beach, ready to invade the villa and take back Hall. But Hall doesn't want to go. He has a mission and he wants to complete it. Turns out, Hall was the insider mole who sold himself out to Quinn. Coulson, being Coulson, tries his hardest to convince Hall to come with him and be part of the good guys, but in the end he is forced to sacrifice Hall (make the hard decision) for the greater good. Hall falls into the graviton machine and is sucked into the metallic void. The episode ends with reflections of these defining moments. Melinda May, who again was relegated to doing next to nothing, finally steps up and says that she wants to be more active, she wants to be "in." She's tired of running and has decided to stay. Thank goodness; I was getting really tired of her just flying the plane. And then there is Skye who was given an out this week and did not take it. She reciprocates Ward opening up to her with her own tragic story: foster child, unloved, unwanted, so she runs. But this time, "I made my choice. I want this. Bad." She's here to stay for SHIELD! (Until they do something questionable that offends her principles and she goes back to Rising Tide, breaking Ward's heart. It's TV people. It's how it works).

Oh and Hall is alive inside the graviton.

Miscellaneous Notes on The Asset 

--This episode was much better than last week, despite my rather sarcastic review.

--Coulson is the man. Can we please talk about how he shows up in Malta wearing an expensive suit while Ward in head to toe in his black ops gear, but somehow Coulson looks more epic.

--Great visual effects this week. This really is a high budget show.

--I think one thing that would really help SHIELD right now would be a beginning to flesh out a bad guy. You need to have a Big Bad, and while we have the Centipede people, we need more than just an organization. We need an actual human to root against--we live in a world of Loki's and Red Face's. I hope we see this by episode 5.(afterthought: someone getting caught in a theoretical substance of Graviton is the perfect set up for a villain arc)

--What are we calling Skye and Ward? Sward? Waye? (The shipping name is almost more important than the actual ship).
 

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x2)

I'm having a rather hard time deciding if this show is blog-able. On the one hand, there is some sort of arc happening--the scientific experiments that were set up in the pilot--but on the other hand it is very "plot device" of the week as demonstrated by this weeks "0-8-4" and with Sleepy Hollow being my limit on episodic television, I'm not sure if I have the energy to cover SHIELD as well. It's not to say that this weeks episode wasn't good--it was a perfectly fine second week episode, if overly predictable. In any given show where you have a wide array of personalities, at some point you have to give them a common goal or enemy to bring them together so that they learn the value of teamwork. It's supposed to unify them and give the audience a preview of what will come--people using their own individual strengths to others advantages. But the problem was that beyond learning to work together, there was very little point in the overall episode. 

 The episode begins with Coulson's voice over saying that everything is blue skies, as the SHIELD plane flies serenely through the air. This is, naturally, followed by the side of the plane exploding and chaos ensuing. We then flashback 19 hours to see the events that led up to this incident. It more or less picks up where last weeks left off: Skye is now a consultant for SHIELD though no one really knows what that means; an 0-8-4 has been called in and, like Skye, no one is really sure what that means. All they know is that an 0-8-4 is a device of unknown origin that needs to be intercepted before some rogue government or rebel army can get their hands on it and destroy the world. The 0-8-4 is supposed to be paralleling Skye as she is also an unknown asset. Can she be trusted? Will she betray the team? And what is her purpose? She's not a rocket scientist super nerd like the FitzSimmons duo; she is not an expert fighter like Ward and she's not even a trained veteran like May. She's a hacker who spent most of her time trying to uncover and expose SHIELD--like the weapon she may have the power to destroy the entire unit. The paralleling is fine, if heavy handed.

The artifact in question lies deep inside an Inca temple in Peru and is supposedly 1500 years old but somehow German in origin. As the science team of FitzSimmons try to figure out what exactly it is and what it can be used for, the national police lead by former Coulson flame, Camilla Reyes, pulls up and a small turf war breaks out. But it's all good because Coulson and Camilla are obviously friends and they all want to work together. If you believe any of this, you don't watch nearly enough television.

This attempt at camaraderie is interrupted both internally and externally. Internally, the agents of SHIELD are having trouble getting along: the scientists want to be careful and perform tests to determine origin, May and Ward are trying to feel each other out while Ward tries to dig into May's past, and Skye mostly walks around confused and in the way

trying to figure out what her purpose is. Externally, rebel fighters show up wanting the 0-8-4 and a gun fight ensues. The national police under Reyes and the Agents make it to the Super Plane; there the 0-8-4 is determined to be fueled by tessearct technology, which if you don't speak nerd is pretty terrible. Basically, the 0-8-4 is a weapon of mass destruction powered by alien tech. Go watch Thor, Captain America and the Avengers and then come back and see me. The only safe solution is to get the 0-8-4 to "The Slingshot" secret SHIELD base so that no government can have it. Along the way, of course, the national police under Reyes reveal their true colors and, of course, they are there for the 0-8-4 and not to be helpful. The manage to disarm Ward, May, FitzSimmons, and Skye and tie Coulson up. There's a lot of big talk about why Reyes wants the 0-8-4--something about government and rebels and how the device was originally commissioned by the Peruvian government in the first place. Frankly I was just waiting for the Agents to do what we all knew they were going to do: work together to get out of the situation. Which they did by blowing up the side of the plane. The action sequence itself is nicely shot with

fisticuffs and the vortex of open air sucking things out. The ultimate solution for the plummet was rather contrived--Skye opening a life raft to cover the gaping hole, but it was her contribution I guess.
It ends with the team arriving at the "Slingshot" and the 0-8-4 being put into a hold. The team then sits back and enjoys a beer (except Skye of course because she's not a member of the team and symbolism) and watching a rocket be shot out into space while some swelling orchestral music plays in the background.
So what is Skye's deal? At the end of the episode she receives a text from her Rising Tide cohorts wanting to know if she's "in." To which she replies that she is in fact, in. It's worth mentioning that she did hesitate but that's to be expected. They're clearly setting her up as the betrayer with a conscious. Will she actually betray SHIELD? During this episode, Skye was put in a life or death situation, managed to get out of it with her new found friends, was congratulated and thanked and made to feel appreciated, something I suspect Skye has had little of in her life. Ward is now going to take it upon himself to be her supervising officer and see her through and I suspect there will be some romance that goes along with that. In the end, she won't betray them but she'll come very close and her dynamic with the team will change. Predictable so I hope they tell it well.

Miscellaneous Notes from 0-8-4

--Last week I said that if they wanted the show to really succeed, they needed to find someway to bring in the Avengers. So what did they do this week? They trotted out references to almost every single Avenger. Skye is a consultant like Stark (Iron Man). The last 0-8-4 was a hammer (Thor). The explanation to what fueled this 0-8-4 was Captain America's story. And then who should appear at the end of the episode? Director Fury yelling at Coulson over what happened to the plane. Next week I suspect Hawkeye and the Black Widow will show up to give Skye fighting and shooting tips. Don't spend your credit all in one place, SHIELD. Spread out the love.

--Some pretty funny one-liners this week:
"You took a bullet?" "--ish"
"Device fueled by evil sitting in our cargo hold"
"You're having a midlife crisis" "After life crisis" "Don't even get me started on the red convertible" "Her name is Lola."

--Melinda May continues to be mysterious, though this week we did learn that she's referred to as "The Cavalry" which I suppose means they send her in when almost all hope is lost and they need a miracle. Other than this piece of information, she's still a boring character, given very little to do thus far.

--Once again Coulson refers to Tahiti as a magical place but he never says anything more about it. I suspect it will come up every episode until we get the full story.

 

In Which I Review Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (1x1)

Like many deeply nerdy people, my relationship with Joss Whedon is a long and beautiful one. It began when I was quite young--early junior high--one night, in my room, flipping through the six channels on my newly gifted television. I came the WB (the CW now) and had to pause when a girl, not much older than I was, ran across my screen in some perposterous outfit and began wailing on a guy with some sort of skin condition. She then proceded to stab in him in the heart with a wooden stick and he exploded into dust. The only thing I remember thinking was, "Cooooooool."
And that's how I discovered Buffy the Vampire Slayer. From that point, there was Angel and Firefly and Dollhouse. And then Whedon put out The Avengers, probably the greatest superhero movie of all time (well, at least in my estimation). When it was announced that Whedon was bringing the big screen to the small with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D I was instantly on board. But translating superhero movies to TV is rough; money is tighter which puts a strain on the big blockbuster effects and big names that now make up the Marvel Movie universe. And when the show doesn't actually feature superheros--except those ordinary day to day ones who are just trying to protect the rest of the world--can it actually succeed? 

In case you missed it, though I'm not sure how you could, The Avengers brought in a crazy amount of money a few summers back. And with that in mind, ABC gleefully picked up this pilot, dollar signs in their eyes. Almost as soon as it was announced, the marketing team over at ABC went to overdrive. Posters, Comic Con appearances, promos, photo shoots, and media pole dancing (as Tom and Lorenzo call it) all made their way into the public eye. Twitter accounts for the fictional characters are already up and running and it paid off--biggest drama debut for ABC in four years. And with good reason; this show already has a built in fanbase, and not just comic book nerds. The nerd movement, in the more recent years, has moved out of the basement and into the limelight. People who could never classically be called nerdy (never read a comic book in their life, never watched one Star Trek episode, has no idea what a Death Star is) flock in crazy numbers to these new superhero movies. Look at Tumblr. After the opening of the Avengers, it was like Loki had taken over the entire internet. The fanbase for this show is no longer the skinny kid in glasses who has a mint condition of The Wolverine in a plastic bag, lovingly stored in a glass case. And it turns out, they were right to flock to the show. It hit a lot of high notes. Let's do a first episode breakdown.

The Crew

Agent Phil Coulson: It takes impeccable writing and acting to become a fan favorite when going toe to toe with superheroes like The Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America and Thor, who have stood the test time for so long now. When Coulson "died" in the Avengers the screams of many could be heard. He's witty, charming, determined, passionate and let's face--hella cute. He is responsible for putting together our team of operatives and overseeing them. He also gets some pretty cool toys (someone find me Lola!) But there is an air of mystery about him, something about his supposed "death" doesn't ring true. While he is under the impression that he only faked his death under Fury's orders and then spent a few weeks in Tahiti recovering, a secretive conversation between Agent Hill and Shepherd Book the SHIELD doctor reveals that he really has no idea what happened to him. Might Agent Coulson have been resurrected using some sort of superhero technology? Might he be super himself?

Agent Grant Ward: A black ops specialist formally with level 6 clearance but now promoted to level 7. He has the boyish charm that makes him easy on the eyes but doesn't use it to get ahead; he is obviously very good at his job. He gets some of the funnier lines in the pilot and you can tell that he'll be a fan favorite before long. For the sake of the show, Ward accepted his new position with SHIELD faster than one might like; I was expecting a little more resistance on his part, or at least some dissatisfaction that he is now surrounded by science and computer whiz's, who talk a mile a minute but never appear to actually say anything. I suspect that is character will become more fleshed out as the show moves on (there is only so much you can do in a pilot) and I look forward to seeing him developed.


Agent Melinda May: I can't say much here sadly. May's character is obviously a bit of  legend at SHIELD, Grant knows who she is and expresses surprise that she's "just the pilot" for this episode. Something obviously happened to her in the past that made her give up field work because we first find her behind a desk, in a very dimly lit office (SHIELD can't afford light bulbs or something) monotonously stapling away, refusing to take part in whatever game Coulson is playing. But there is clearly more to her; she manages to disarm men and has superior fighting abilities. Right now she's a bit of a blank slate. Her chemistry with Coulson is apparent--I expect many jabs and barbs to be thrown between them.



Agents Fitz and Simmons (FitzSimmons): These two are either going to be absolutely hysterical or are very quickly going to annoy me with their fast paced techno-babble. On some level it works; the genius's shouldn't have to stop and explain everything to the audience. We need to accept that they know what they're talking about and we don't. But between the fast talking mixed with the Scottish accent, my eyes went rather wide trying to keep up. They come as a pair but I expect their dynamic to be more friendly contentious and competitive. They can praise each other's brilliant ideas but secretly hate that they didn't think of it first. But hey! At least they already come with a ready made 'ship name.

Skye: A tech and computer genius who is a new civilian recruit to SHIELD. Also a bit paranoid and conspiracy theorist. She's responsible for the "rising tide" videos, a red herring for the first half of the episode masking the true "bad guys" (more on that in a bit.)  She has a mysterious past that I'm sure will be uncovered as we go along. Skye isn't her real name and she's hiding from someone or something. She has an obsession with superheros and, from my point of view, obviously longs to be part of their elite team. I see her as being psychologically damaged as a kid, unable to protect herself and thus became enamored of the idea of someone rescuing her. She's quick witted and has some truly excellent lines.


The Plot
It took some sifting through my notes to make sure I really had a handle on the story but: SHIELD is "the line between this world and a much weirder world. We protect people from news they aren't ready for." Think MIB for superheros. After the Battle of New York in the Avengers, SHIELD has gone into overdrive trying to protect everyone from the new dangers. A special elite team has been put together to find unregistered superheros and take down baddies. These new superheros are emerging rapidly, without cause. Someone is engineering regular humans with powers of strength and stamina. The implant gives the operation its code name: Centipede. The first episode really revolves around setting all this up: SHIELD must take down the Operation Centipede and find these new human hybrids and protect them. 

Problems:
I feel as though this is going to become Monster of the Week very quickly (except here I suppose it would be superhero of the week). Each week, the SHIELD team finds a new hero, protects them and gets ever closer to the Project Centipede ring leaders.
The lack of "real" superheros might also be an issue. I don't expect Tony Stark to Thor to suddenly come whizzing in, but man would that be awesome. People want to see real superheros--fluttering capes, speedos and all--and if you don't somehow give them the real McCoy, the hybrid storyline might get stale. I'm also not sure if it's conducive to weekly blogging, but I guess I'll have to wait and see on that front.
Everyone on screen is far too good at what they do: Ward is the best bomb and black-ops specialist. Skye is THE computer girl; Fitz and Simmons are scary science wunderkinds; May has many tricks up her sleeve. I want to see the human side of these guys too. Let me know that they're just like me--these aren't superheros. They're the one protecting the superheroes.

Miscellaneous Notes from the Pilot 

--I lost track of the number of times I wrote "total Whedon moment" during the watch. Here are a few of my favorites:
------First fight action sequence includes a romantic aria in the background while a pissed off French woman looks more concerned about her ruined breakfast than the three men fighting.
------"With great power comes...a lot of weird crap" BLESS YOU JOSS WHEDON.
------Skye sitting in her van making a "Rising Tide" video when suddenly Coulson and the gang opens the door and just snatches her out of it and then Coulson injecting Ward with truth serum for Skye's benefit. 

--"Don't touch Lola." And with that line, Coulson cements himself a treasure trove of fangirls

--Coulson and his bullhorn. BFFLs.

--So many awesome cool tech toys.

Final Verdict:  Watch it. Even if you haven't seen the Avengers (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?), it's entertaining and fun for all.