I had a choice tonight. I could choose to watch the Republican debate on Fox or I could watch this weeks episode of Under the Dome, "Breaking Point." I chose to watch Under the Dome because I am committed to blogging this series from start to finish. After a solid hour of nonsense, gibberish, and utter tomfoolery, I realized that I made the wrong decision because while the Republican debate would be equally nonsensical, gibberish and tomfoolery filled, at least it would be entertaining. There was no point to this episode. At all. It backtracked every single thing that happened last week; it killed minor characters that we all but totally forgot existed, and it continued to force a love triangle between three terrible, dull, and moronic people, only one of whom is an alien inside a human costume, but all of whom are metaphorical pod people. The apocalypse of last week did not happen; it was just an illusion designed to bring the Borg Collective of Chester's Mill closer together. So the one sort of exciting, somewhat interesting plot to happen on the show in forever was nothing more than a "dream" reality. I give up. The Republicans are better than this show! (And now I need to go liquify my brain). Grab a giant amethyst and hunker down for dear life. We still have 5 episodes to go.
This will be a very short review, not only because of the total lack of plot advancement but also because I don't think I have it in me to care about snarking at Under the Dome this week. Apologies in advance but really, nothing happened. The last few episodes have been somewhat thought provoking, at least enough to allow me to do more than mumble pure snark at you all, but this episode was just gibberish and nonsense coupled with characters standing around talking about things we already knew. Do you care that Barbie and Eva had sex? No? Me either. Good, moving on. Do you care that Eva and Julia had a standoff with guns over who gets to BBQ with Dale Barbara? No? Me either. Good, moving on. Do you care that Big Jim Rennie failed to make an emotional connection with Little Crazypants and that Little Crazypants continues to think with what is inside his crazy pants instead of with his brain? No? Good, moving on. Do you care that Sam was tied to a bed in a fallout shelter and forced to believe that he was being given Queen Bee's blood in order to tie him back to the Borg Collective of Chester's Mill? No? Good, moving on. Do you care that the Apocalypse was really just an illusion that Queen Bee pushed into people's minds while she was incubating in a cocoon until she hatched? No? Good, moving on. Do you care that the Borg Collective of Chester's Mill only managed to save one amethyst? No? Good, moving on. Do you care that Carolyn died in a mine explosion but remembered her love of Norrie? Yes? Ok, so did I a bit. That was a small heartfelt moment in the absolute cesspool of stupidity that was this episode. See, I just gave you an almost bullet point by bullet point plot hash (which I almost never do in my reviews) but did not give any depth to the plot because there is no depth, at all. Everything about this episode, except the death of Carolyn and Norrie's reaction, had no heart and no emotion. This show wants me to care about these people, the plot, and the drama between those two elements but they have yet to make 99.9% of these characters compelling enough--either good or bad--for me to be compelled by. The Dome is still standing. Julia is in love with Barbie. Eva is trying to keep Barbie between her legs because Queen Bee demands it. Junior is his own man. Jorrie are true love and will probably bring down the Dome with their constant sexing. And there is some new girl who is talking to Hunter and I'm sure she's important but to heck if I know why. In fact, I don't even know her name. Is it Lucy? Is it Lily? I'm going to call her Uhrua since she's some sort of communications expert. Do you get my frustrating right now? I don't expect life altering TV from Under the Dome. But I expect more than mindless drivel that does absolutely nothing but backtrack on the previous weeks advancements while simultaneously offering nothing in any kind of development this week. Try again Under the Dome. Try again.
Miscellaneous Notes on Breaking Point
--There is something ironic about this weeks title given my own breaking point with this show.
--Eva is going to end up pregnant, isn't she?
--"We have to go!"
"Where?! We are
under a dome!" This is why Norrie is still the only good character.
--So no Apocalypse at all? Not even a little bit?
--The Dome is going to calcify. Queen Bee used up all the energy in the crystals and Oxytocin to heal herself. Gibberish. Absolute gibberish.
--"We need to kill them all." Finally, Queen Bee and I agree on something.
--"A cripple, two horny teenagers and a plucky newspaper girl?" OMG. Big Jim, have you been reading my blog?
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